Why Can’t We Just Get Along? Women Bullying Other Women
Don’t we have enough obstacles in the workplace without having to deal with other women sabotaging our efforts? Why can’t women just get along and support each other in their efforts to advance their careers?
The New York Times this week ran an article, “Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work”, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/10/business/10women.html that presented statistics to support the fact that 40% of all workplace bullies are women and that women bully other women 70% of the time!
Bullying is categorized as behavior that can include spreading rumors to derail someone’s career, withholding important promotional information, pushing and shoving (yes, do you believe this one?), bad mouthing others, passive aggressive behavior and more.
So why does this type of sabotaging behavior occur in the workplace?
There are several theories:
- Women need to adopt aggressive behavior to get ahead and once they are in a leadership position they still maintain this behavior.
- Women see other women as potential threats and competitors.
- There is not much opportunity for advancement and so women are more competitive.
- Women are being stereotyped as “bullies” but this is not necessarily the case.
- Women are insecure in their leadership positions and feel the necessity to sabotage other women to maintain their position of power.
Here is a wonderful quote from the article,
As we get into the corporate world, we’re taught or we’re led to believe that we don’t get ahead because of men. But, we really don’t get ahead because of ourselves. Instead of building each other up and showcasing each other, we’re constantly tearing each other down.
Do you see evidence of women bullying other women in your workplace?
Have you experienced another woman sabotaging your efforts at work?
I would love to hear from you. Please send your comments!
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4 Responses to “Why Can’t We Just Get Along? Women Bullying Other Women”
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Bonnie,
Fabulous article and so timely as I have heard this lately and been experiencing it somewhat too. I think your quote at the end is right on. It starts with ourselves and making the (abeit challenging) practice of not tearing our own selves down. Women are notoriously hard on themselves. I believe that only by first shifting how we approach our notions about ourselves and how we treat ourselves can we then shift the paradigm into creating a society where women support and boost each other.
Great thoughts!
Katie
Not only on the job but also on the cheerleading squad.
I am a 54 yr old woman who has been an er nurse for 16 yes. I work in a small town where there is a brand new er with 23 beds. All I want to do is take great care of my patients without some young nurse tech trying to tell me how to do my job. For example, she was in a room with me when I said I will be putting in a foley cather. She chimed in and said, let me do it because I teach others how to put them in and I know how to do it. I said according to either the hospitals policy or tx nurses practice act you as a nurse tech are not allowed to place one in a pt. Man she became defensive and said I quote “other nurses let me do it!”, after in a low tone of voice and with sarcasm,
I again repeated to her, no I won’t let you because I go by the book and I will not let you do this! She kind of got huffy and walked off and said whatever
this same individual while I was talking to someone regarding tz. She butted in and started talking for me. I was walking down the hall and she raised her voice and I pulled her into the breakroom and said “don’t yell at me in the hallway!” she became defensive and she proceeded to tell me “I am not the only one that feels this way”, meaning others not liking me. I felt that was uncalled for and inappropriate to say at the time. That was when I walked out of the room and mentioned to my cn.
Next thing I know I was called into the office with this cna and cn wanting us to resolve the problem.
I have been bothered like this several other times by younger workers. I feel as though I am being bullied and all the administrator says if u r not happy here personally and professionally find somewhere else to go.
What is up with all of this and how can u stop it and how can I file a bullying charge or harassement charge.
Janice,
I am not an expert in this area and would not know how best to advise you, however, because this is such an important topic, I am having an expert on my radio show, Head over Heels Radio, Tuesday, August 19th. Her name is Kathleen Schulweis.
You can tune in live 2-3pm EDT or listen to the replay or download the mp3 the day after the live show.
http://www.HeadoverHeelsRadio.com
You can email me a question to pose to Kathleen Schulweis on the show if you’d like!
Bonnie