Are the “Shoulds” Getting You Down?

June 11, 2009 · Posted in life balance 

As women, we are continuously striving for work/life balance because we believe it’s possible. All the subject matter experts (myself NOT included) tell us that we can achieve balance in our lives and we should make every effort to create this equilibrium for ourselves. It is doable.

We are all superwomen. As a result, we have an ongoing list of things we “should” do for our career and our family/personal life. We seem to punish ourselves with this list of “shoulds”. The “shoulds” contribute to our guilt on a daily basis and we often give more focus to what we “should” have done or “should ” do instead of everything we have accomplished.

I propose that we create a different type of list; a list of things that we choose NOT to do. This new approach is a powerful guilt-free antidote to the “shoulds” for we are CHOOSING not to do the things on the list. I choose NOT to volunteer to make brownies for the class picnic. I choose NOT to do the laundry before work this week. I choose NOT to stay late at work one night a week.  I will NOT have the dinner party this weekend.

So many of our “shoulds” actually add very little value to our lives. Take a look at your list and  see if you agree. So why do we persist on focusing on them everyday?

Let’s try to let the “shoulds” go. Take back your power and intention and focus on your accomplishments and success. Don’t beat yourself up with guilt. Try a new approach and create a list of what YOU CHOOSE NOT TO DO.

The choice is yours!

Comments

One Response to “Are the “Shoulds” Getting You Down?”

  1. Amanda Alexander on September 28th, 2009 1:59 pm

    This is a really interesting perspective, and a new option to looking at the way we make our decisions.

    Amanda
    Coaching for career, business and personal success

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Bonnie Marcus, M.Ed., C.E.C.
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