Where Does All Our Self-Confidence Go?
Where does all the bravado and self-confidence of our early childhood go? Do you ever think back to when you were a young child? If your childhood was anything like mine, you were probably happy as a clam and had a bounty of self-esteem. I did. I vividly remember my childhood dreams of becoming a prima ballerina. I took ballet lessons three times a week and carried my ballet shoes with me to every family outing and special event. I was ready to perform anywhere and anytime. In fact, I remember asking the band at my cousin’s wedding to play a specific song and clear the dance floor so that I could dance in front of a couple of hundred people. No joke. I did. Of course, everyone indulged me and thought it was cute at the time, but when was it not cute anymore?
I can’t recall any specific time or event that caused me to lose that self-confidence of my early childhood but I do know my self-esteem eroded slowly but surely. Perhaps it was messages from my parents, teachers and friends over time. However those messages were delivered, directly or not, I certainly “got the message” that what was cute as a child was no longer acceptable behavior as a young adult.
It has taken years and a lot of self-work to bring back that self-confidence. All those messages about the need to be humble and take a back seat became hardwired in my subconscious mind and re-surface periodically to remind me that I am not as wonderful as I think I am. No one will like me if I brag and put myself in the spotlight. It is such an internal tug of war. Is this true for you?
As professional women, it is vitally important to re-connect with this self-confidence and talent. It is critical to our success to promote ourselves in the business world.
A success or bragging journal is a great way to keep track of your accomplishments and talent. Make a daily entry and review the entries each week. Take the time to write down what these accomplishments say about you.
Do the work necessary to make the connection to your value and talent and re-establish the self-confidence from your childhood. You are still wonderful. Nothing has changed but your perception of yourself.
Kelly Borth, President and Owner, Greencrest
Kelly Borth is the co-founder and owner of Greencrest, a full service marketing, advertising, and public relations company. She is one of only 25 people in the world certified in brand development. Listen to her speak about her company’s services for small businesses and her background. She has a lot to brag about!
Her website: http://greencrest.com
Your Career Path as a Jungle Gym
During a panel discussion at New York University’s “Dialogue for Leadership – From Challenge to Opportunity: Leading to the Future”, the moderator, Patti Sellers, Editor at Large at FORTUNE, made the following insightful comment to the MBA women:
Don’t think of your career as a ladder. Think of it as a jungle gym. If you think of it as a ladder, you won’t have the peripheral vision to enable you to see the lateral opportunities and especially today when you don’t know what the hot job is tomorrow. You’ve got to keep yourself open and you’ve got to swing to the opportunities that come along.
Sellers further expanded on this by saying that many of Fortune’s Most Powerful Women have, in fact, made lateral moves and even downward moves in order to broaden their experience and it has paid off for them in the long run.
The message here is that if you are ONLY looking up the ladder at the next rung, you could very well miss some opportunities that can have tremendous benefit to advancing your career.
Focus is great as long as it doesn’t become tunnel vision and blind you to what else is out there for you.
Pat Hastings, Author, Spiritual Coach, Inspirational Speaker
Pat Hastings tells us of her own journey with God in her book, Simply A Woman of Faith. She provides spiritual coaching for women to help them create a spiritual life and find their source of self-esteem and confidence.
Her website: http://simplyawomanoffaith.com
Lead Yourself to Success
I am often asked about my own corporate career path and how I made the successful transition from manager to executive. There is, of course, no one answer or formula for success. Everyone has their own story about how they navigated their way to the top. Some women may claim it’s luck; being in the right place at the right time. Some may say it took hard work and long hours. I do believe there is some commonality to all the stories and a critical piece to becoming a leader is first understanding yourself and defining a clear vision or goal.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Who am I? What really matters to me? What am I passionate about?
- What are my strengths? How can I build on these strengths to reach my goal?
- What is my career goal? What is my time frame for achieving this goal? Is it realistic?
- What skills do I need to achieve this goal? Do I have these skills? Do I need to improve my skills? What resources are available for me?
- What methodology or action plan do I need to adopt to move forward consistently toward my goal?
Armed with a thorough understanding of yourself and a clear vision of where you want to go, set your intentions and lead yourself to success.
