Are You Ready To Spring Forward?
I’m so excited that spring has arrived here on the east coast! Even in the morning when it’s still a little chilly there are signs that spring is here. You hear birds chirping. You see some brave little flowers testing the warmth of the sun. And of course, the days are longer!
Spring is a time of rebirth and rejuvenation. On my run this morning, I felt the new energy that comes with this season. It’s a wonderful sense of well-being and passion for my life and work. It’s also a great feeling of unlimited potential.
As I was running, I was thinking about this blog and how I might pass along these thoughts to all of you. My hope is that you are also ready to step out of your comfort zone, escape complacency, and spring forward with your career and life. Are you ready?
Answer these questions:
- Do you wake up in the morning excited about your day?
- Do you feel challenged in your work?
- Do you ask for new responsibilities or volunteer for new projects?
- Do you fall into bed at night exhausted but feeling you truly accomplished something?
- Do you see a clear career path for yourself in your present company that aligns with who you are?
- Do you have a defined career goal?
- Do you have a strategic plan to reach that goal?
- Are you ready to face your fear or self-doubt that may be holding you back from springing forward?
- Do you feel that your boss/company appreciate the work you do?
- Do you feel empowered to take control of your career?
If you answered “yes” to these questions, I applaud you! You are ready to spring forward!
If by reading these questions, you realize that you are stuck in your current job situation or your own internal barriers, what are you ready to do to move forward? Sometimes it only takes one baby step to start the process.
For today, define what that one step is and commit to it. It’s the season to spring forward and leave your fears and complacency behind.
Be Bold: What Does It Mean To You?
Last Friday at the Bay Path Women’s Conference, I listened intently to Queen Latifah talk about her career and her bold move at 17 as a hip hop star to call herself “Queen Latifah”. She said Latifah was always her nickname, but putting “Queen” in front of it was certainly a bold statement, especially at such a young age. But she did it and the rest is history!
This made me think about the different bold moves I’ve made in my own life and career and specifically what has prompted me to step out of my comfort zone at times. I’ve always been a bit of a risk taker, but a risk taker in a very strategic way. Sure, sometimes I do things impulsively but for the most part I seek opportunities to move my career forward and evaluate those opportunities that present themselves to determine if they make sense for me and where I am in my career.
After having been with one company for 9 years and losing a promotion, I took a tremendous leap out of my comfort zone. I moved from the east coast to Chicago to run a national healthcare company. It was a huge step up to be a CEO and I could have easily talked myself out of it. “I’m not ready to do this.” “It’s scary to move away from my family and friends.” “I am afraid I’m not good enough.” I’m sure you’ve all had similar thoughts, but in the end despite my fear I was bold and made the move and I’m happy that I did. It was a turning point in my career.
Being bold can be different things to different people. In some cases, it’s taking on a new job, changing careers, leaving work to raise a family. In some cases it’s calling yourself “Queen”.
In the end, Queen Latifah said she was comfortable enough in her own skin to celebrate who she is, as she is and told the women in the audience to strive for the same.
“Be bold, be brave enough to be your true self,” she said.
What bold move have you done lately?
Women Are Paid For Performance And Men For Potential: The Gender Gap in Compensation
According to research, there is still a gender gap when it comes to compensation. In 2011, women earned 17.8% less than men across different industries. Over a 40 year career, that amounts to $431,000! So a woman with the same education, same qualifications, and same experience as a man will earn almost a half a million dollars LESS over the course of her career simply because she is a woman and not a man!
The biggest part of the problem is that we don’t negotiate well for our first job. That first salary is the stepping stone for future offers and if we don’t receive fair compensation then, we begin our careers behind men with equal qualifications. Men are more confident negotiating their salaries and it works to their benefit. Typical female behavior is to say “thank you” and accept the job as offered.
How much influence do we have over our compensation?
According to Catalyst, these things work well for women:
- Making her achievements known to her manager, seeking feedback and credit as appropriate, asking for a promotion when deserved.
- Gaining access to powerful executive sponsors who “go to bat” for her behind closed doors.
- A corporate culture that encourages women to “self-promote” and fosters sponsorship in addition to mentorship.
I would add to this list:
- Understand your unique value proposition and learn how to articulate this across the organization.
- Negotiate for fair compensation and benefits with the knowledge that your value benefits the organization.
- Identify the “politics” and how decisions are made in your organization.
- Build a strategic network of people who can positively influence your career.
- Leverage these relationships. Ask for high profile assignments. Ask for promotions and new opportunities.
- Let others know your ambition.
Lastly, and perhaps most important, change your mind set about your potential.
You don’t need to know everything about a new position before you take it. You do need to build the case for how your past achievements demonstrate that you have the potential to be successful in a new position. Use this new mind set to lobby and negotiate for promotions and additional responsibilities. This is a great lesson we can learn from our male counterparts!
Evict Your Obnoxious Roomate: The Negative Self-Talk That Holds You Back
Last week I attended the Pennsylvania Conference for Women and had the pleasure of hearing Arianna Huffington speak. She shared her ideas about what it takes to be successful for a woman in business today.
My biggest take-away from her talk was when she spoke about the obnoxious roommate, that nagging voice in our head that constantly tells us that we arent good enough. Im sure you are all familiar with this voice. You cant do this. You should have said this. This roommate moved into our lives somewhere very early in our childhood and seems to have taken over the kitchen, Youre too fat, the living room, You should stay on the couch where its safe and you wont make any more mistakes, and the bedroom, No one will ever love you. You dont deserve it.
Do you have an obnoxious roommate like this who has taken over your life?
If so, how much attention do you give your roommate? How much of your energy does she consume each day?
Im certain that this roommate may be trying to protect you from harm by keeping you from playing big and getting hurt, but the end result is that if you give her voice credence, you never will be big. You will never get out of your comfort zone to expand your skills, your network, your personal and professional relationships, your career and your life.
Our quest for perfection starts at an early age. And since no one can possibly be perfect (there is no such thing as perfection after all even though we all chase it as if it were attainable), we will use any excuse to beat ourselves up for not measuring up. The quest for perfection and our obnoxious roommate, who is the voice to all this self-doubt, are relentless unless we tune it all out.
One sure fire way to quiet these voices is to create another louder voice to drown out the negative one.
Start keeping a success journal. Each day keep track of all your accomplishments, big and small, and each week review your entries and write down what all this says about you. This is the best way to quiet the obnoxious roommate in your life and let a new supportive and positive roommate move in.
Its your choice. Evict the obnoxious roommate and take control of your life and career or let her stay in your life knowing she will keep you from reaching your full potential. What will it be?
Investing in Your Business and Career: Coming to Terms with Your Issues
In my blog last week, Get Savvy: 10 Tips to Help You be Successful in Business, I talked about the things that I feel have helped me make my business successful. I asked for feedback and a few people responded that they thought that #3, Investing in Your Business, was critical for their success.
I thought it would be helpful to explore this and tell you more about my story.
Once I accepted the fact that I didnt have all the answers and that I needed to find the right people to help me move my business forward, I still hesitated. I didnt want to spend the money. I was frightened and I thought that I needed to make the money first before I spent it.
If you agree with this, I can tell you honestly that this ends up being a merry go round that will not move you forward. There comes a time when you need to make the decision to have a real business not just a hobby. Real business owners invest and re-invest in their business. There comes a time when you realize that if you want the career you know you deserve, you need to invest in yourself to help you move forward.
Taking the risk and using credit to pay for the services I needed was really scary to me. I was brought up to pay off credit cards and not carry balances; not to extend myself beyond what I could comfortably cover each month. So I was stuck. I knew that I needed some guidance but I wouldnt take the risk or invest in myself to get that help.
But there was much more going on.
- I had to address my issues about money. What did I learn from my parents about money that might be holding me back? Do you know what your money issues are?
- I had to face my own insecurities about the ability to make the money in the future to pay my bills. If you are unwilling to invest in your career and business, what does that say about your faith in your ability to be successful?
- I had to come to terms with my own relationship to success. Was I more comfortable playing small? What is your comfort zone?
I can tell you now that I have faced these issues head on and continue to work on them. I have invested big time in my business and it has made a huge difference. For one thing, I have learned valuable information that I would not have otherwise had at my disposal. Ive also found that its much easier to ask my potential clients to invest my services because Ive done it myself and have reaped the benefits.
If you really want a successful business and career, then step up and do what you need to do to get there. Step up and face your issues, invest in yourself and recognize that it could be you, and no one else that is holding you back from what you want.
Lessons about Leadership from Shackleton’s Expedition
Todays show is about leadership in times of constant change and adversity and my guest today, Dr. Dennis Perkins, has studied the 1914 Shackleton Antarctic expedition as an example of survival under extreme circumstances and of great leadership. Dr. Perkinss book, Leading at the Edge, follows the trans-Antarctic Expedition led by Sir Ernest Shackleton, that had the goal of completing the first overland crossing of Antarctica. Trapped in a solid pack of ice, the crew was faced with brutal cold, dwindling supplies, and complete isolation. How did this crew survive and what lessons can we learn from Shackletons expedition that apply to our current business environment? Today well explore some of the lessons of leadership with Dr. Perkins that todays leaders can apply to their own environment.
Featured Guest
Dennis Perkins, is the Chief Executive Officer of The Syncretics Group, a consulting firm dedicated to effective leadership in demanding environments. A graduate of the US Naval Academy, he served as a Marine company commander and later a faculty member of the Yale School of Management. His book, Leading at the Edge, retraces the Shackelton expedition and offers lessons for leaders today to achieve success in the face of adversity.
Listen to the show live on Wednesday, August 15th at 12 noon EDT or download the podcast.
How to Overcome Your Self-Doubt to Reach Your Full Potential in Business
How many of you have ever moved into a new position or a new company and worry that you dont have what it takes? You worry that someone will discover that you really arent all that qualified, even though your resume and your accomplishments clearly show a track record of success?
This is actually quite common and its called the Imposter Syndrome. An important study was done in 1978 that found that most accomplished women in the 1970s felt they werent smart and had fooled anyone who thought they were. They attributed their promotions to luck, timing, faulty judgments by decision makes. Even, if some of these women thought they were intelligent, they were hesitant to express their opinions and ideas. Researchers labeled this the imposter syndrome. No matter how hard these women worked and how successful they were, they felt they were imposters and would be found out.
My guest today, Valerie Young is an expert on this topic and today we will discuss how the imposter syndrome impacts our careers and what we can do to counter this self-doubt to establish thriving businesses and careers.
Featured Guest
Dr. Valerie Young is the author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It published by Random House. In addition to speaking at to over 60 major colleges and universities including Harvard, MIT, Cal Tech and Stanford she has spoken at such diverse organizations as Intel, Chrysler, Boeing, IBM, Procter & Gamble, Ernst & Young, American Women in Radio and Television, the Society of Women Engineers, and the Association of Women in Science. Her career-related tips have been cited in publications around the world including The Wall Street Journal, USA Weekend, More, Womans Day, Redbook, Psychology Today, The Chicago Tribune, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Daily Mail, The Irish Independent, and The Chronicle of Higher Education to name a few. In addition to her work at ImpostorSyndrome.com, Valerie is also the founder and Dreamer in Residence at www.ChangingCourse.com where her newsletter teaching people how to profit from their passion is read by over 23,000 people around the world.
Listen to the Wednesday, July 25th show 12 noon EDT or download the podcast.
Managing Your Expectations is Critical For Your Sanity and Success
I am a high achiever and one who has always had very high expectations for myself, personally and professionally. I can tell you honestly that this has worked both for me and against me at times. Sometimes I fall victim to self-doubt because my goals are so aggressive and I often lack empathy for myself if I dont achieve what I set out to do.
I recognize that setting high goals and working diligently to achieve those goals is a good thing. I encourage my clients to do this. Whats important, however, is that the goals that we set for ourselves are both realistic and manageable. Sometimes we beat ourselves up or become overwhelmed and paralyzed because we fall short of attaining certain goals. Managing our expectations is critical to not only our sanity but our overall success.
I have found from my coaching experience that there is a vast difference in the way women set and manage their expectations. Some women need stretch goals or they will never get from point A to B. Holding them accountable and easing them out of their comfort zone is then part of my work with them.
Other women have tremendous expectations for themselves that result is tremendous stress and self-imposed pressure to succeed. For these women, the goals may not be realistic or they may be realistic but perhaps the time frame is not. For example, someone who has set a goal to be CEO of a company within 5 years and because they did not achieve this, might consider themselves a failure. Well, maybe the goal is doable but it will take 10 years!
The point is that we need to manage our expectations and not use unrealistic expectations to sabotage our efforts to be successful. We need to be flexible and realize that life circumstances affect our forward movement sometimes and goals need to be adjusted. We need to forgive ourselves for being human and understand that managing our expectations is just as important as the process of goal setting.
What type of expectations do you have for yourself?
Do you meet these expectations?
Do the expectations you have for yourself often cause you anxiety?
If you are a high achiever like myself, make sure that your goals are realistic and be careful not to put unnecessary stress on yourself. Remember, managing your expectations is critical to your sanity and your success. Dont fall into the trap of self-doubt and overwhelm that can hold you back from reaching your full potential.
Is Thinking BIG About Your Business or Career Like Bragging?
Its common knowledge that many people have issues with boastful people. We have a bias against those who seem full of themselves and constantly let everyone know how wonderful they are. If the person happens to be a woman, there is even more of a negative reaction to her lack of humility.
If you follow my work and my blog, you know that I help professional women identify and connect with their value and talent and thereby gain
the confidence to promote themselves. (This isnt bragging or boasting, by the way, but authentically talking about your accomplishments and value proposition.) There is much evidence that communicating your value helps you to advance your career and get more clients.
If you understand your value proposition, what plan do you have to offer your gifts and talent to the world? I mean, what is your BIG plan for your business or career? Do you dare to go there?
I believe that we think small because we are afraid that if we let others know the dreams we have for ourselves, people will think we are full of ourselves. We may get the skeptical looks, the rolling eyes, the are you kidding me? look. Who do you think you are that you could achieve that?
Well, guess what? If we think small, we stay small. If we keep our ordinary story, we stay ordinary. (I am borrowing that fromSuzanne Evans. I just spent three amazing days at her Be The Change Event where I heard this over and over again.) If we want to be extraordinary, then we need to ditch our ordinary story for a bigger one, and we need to be able to articulate that new big story with the same confidence we do our value proposition.
Everything changes when you understand your value. This includes your story and your plans for your career and business. Dont be afraid to dream big. Dont be ashamed to create a new big story that expands the way you offer your unique value to the world. Its not bragging. Its simply you acknowledging that you have these gifts. Its simply you understanding your value and believing that you can achieve great success because of it.
Whats your extraordinary story?
Join me Thursday, April 26th for a FREE teleseminar on The 3 Insider Secrets to Marketing Yourself for Success in Business Today.
Learn everything you need to know to position yourself in business today in 3 simple steps!
Emotional Competence and Golf: A Lesson on How to be a Star Performer at Work
What is the connection between your golf game, your emotional competence, and your ability to succeed at work?
Bill Penningtons article In the June 13th, 2011 edition of the New York Times Sports Section, entitled When Golfers Overthink: The Science Behind the Choke, makes it very clear that EQ is indeed a contributing factor for anyone who plays golf. Having a good set of readily available skills helps you navigate the potential negative self talk that might arise after a disappointing shot. Whats more, the utilization of those skills is indeed a fine harbinger of the good score that lies ahead. When implemented, the added advantage to the player is that the effort to constrain that blood flow to the amygdala can bring immediate gratification. In essence, he states that Why some golfers succeed in these moments and others do not has largely been left to pop psychology. But in recent years, the awful truth the choke has met its scientific match.
Pennington referenced research done by Sian Beilock, an associate professor at the University of Chicago with degrees in cognitive science, kinesiology and psychology. She had put hundreds of athletes under duress and identified the anatomy of a choke. Here are some of her findings:
Choking is not a lifetime curse. Experience at performing under pressure makes a significant difference. Practicing under even mild pressure helps prepare you for the more intense version of a championship-winning or match-winning. When youre faced with a pressure shot, distracting yourself from the task at hand is helpful. Performing quickly in pressure situations leads to more success.
She further states that,
It is not the pressure in a pressure situation that distracts us into performing poorly. The pressure makes us worry and want to control our actions too much. And you cannot think your way through a routine, practiced action, like making a 3-foot putt.
How does this translate in the work environment?
We may or may not be in choke situations at work, but our negative self-talk can certainly sabotage our efforts to perform to our potential. Research indicates that the higher our level of EQ, the more successful we will be.
Optimal performance is experienced when a worker executes the basics of their profession while simultaneously showing a high level of EQ. In his book Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman call this positive experience being in the zone. In their book The Power of Full Engagement, executive training program founders Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz reference this state as being in flow.
Bestselling author Daniel Goleman states:
The rules of work are changing. Were being judged by a new yardstick: not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle each other and ourselves. The new rules predict who is most likely to become a star performer and who is most prone to derailing. The new measure takes for granted having enough intellectual ability and technical know-how to do our jobs; it focuses instead on personal qualities, such as initiative and empathy, adaptability and persuasiveness.
How can you improve your EQ to become a star performer on the golf course or at work?
One resource available is MYT Group LLC www.maximizeyourtalent.com. They have a nationwide MYT Express Program launching on November 16th with a 3 hour webinar featuring renowned Stanford University professor Dr. Fred Luskin. This session will be followed by a series of private coaching calls with MYTs PH.D.s. All of the details can be garnered on their website and any additional questions can be answered by writing to them at myt@usa.net.
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