I am sitting in my office this morning writing this post. I look out the window and it’s chilly, yes, but also beautiful. Ducks are swimming in the river behind my house. A stately heron balances on one leg waiting patiently for his next meal to swim by. A mink hustles along the shore and runs into its nest beneath a log.
How can I not be grateful for my life and for the wonders of nature? I know there are many blogs/articles about being thankful and grateful this week, but how many of us really do take the time to reflect on the beauty of our surroundings and the warmth and connection we have with our family and friends?
I couldn’t help but notice that Christmas music was playing on the radio when I got up early this morning to go to spin class. People are already rushing around shopping malls and stressed about the holidays.
It is my hope that all of you can take a minute or two to enjoy your life and all that your life has to offer. It is these moments of quiet reflection that fuel us to be our best selves in everything we do.
I want to thank all of you who read my newsletters and blogs; those of you who are my clients, for your ongoing support. Please know that I am very appreciative and invested in the success of each of you!
What keeps you from showing up as you best self? In every aspect of your life? Many of us are so tuned into the negative voices we hear in our head that distort our self image. Today we’re going to learn some tips from my guest, Jen Sincero on how to tune out those voices and show up as our badass self.
Jen Sincero is a success coach, speaker and the Bestselling author of You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping With Chicks and the semi-autobiographical novel, Don’t Sleep With Your Drummer. Jen and her work have been featured in media outlets all over the world,including Interview Magazine, The Howard Stern Show, Allure, German Cosmo, Bust, Playboy Magazine/TV, The Village Voice, The NY Post and the LA Times. In 2011 Jen bid her home in California farewell to travel the world indefinitely and encourage as many people as possible to live lives of unbridled awesomeness.
Personally, I hate wearing them. I do confess, however, that when I want to emphasize my power and executive presence, I choose to wear high heels. I guess I buy into the myth that the increased height that wearing high heels affords me enhances not only my stature but my status.
Sheryl Sandberg posed for the cover of Time in her stilettos. Marissa Meyer wore her signature high heels for her profile in Vogue. It would seem to the observer that high powered women wear stylish high heels and aren’t afraid to show off their femininity.
An article in the New York Times last year commented on this growing trend for women in tech to be fashionable. The question is, however, do women in tech or any other male dominated industry appear less capable if they focus on fashion?
“Silicon Valley has long been known for semiconductors and social networks, not stilettos and socialites. But in a place where the most highly prized style is to appear to ignore style altogether and the hottest accessory is the newest phone, a growing group of women is bucking convention not only by being women in a male-dominated industry, but also by unabashedly embracing fashion.”
There has been a growing trend toward “feminine feminism”.
“I was researching an article for The New York Times, and I flew out to California to attend a women’s conference. And I walked into a room of 50 of some of the most high-powered women in the U.S. And I noticed, immediately, that they defied all the stereotypes – the age-old stereotypes of high-powered women in the workforce. When I worked in consulting – management consulting and finance – there was one way to dress, and there was one model for success. And that was really the male way. And you found women dressing in the sort of female equivalent of the male suits. It was the blue and gray pinstripe suits, or black with the big shoulder pads. It was the 80s power suit. And typically, women would cut their hair. They were trying to do anything to mask their femininity – because, again, they were trying to blend in with men, and not accentuate any part of their sort of womanhood. There was only one model for success. And it was all men in positions of power – and, if you wanted to blend in, and you wanted these men to have the experience of your mind – you couldn’t be wearing bright colors and talking about your shoes. “
Is happiness the key to success? There has been a lot of research lately on the subject of happiness and how it contributes to our well being; our emotional and physical health.
This week, I am honored to have on the show, Marilyn Tam, who has recently authored a book on the subject, The Happiness Choice. What I love about Marilyn’s book is her position that it is a choice to be happy and in her book, she gives us some great tips on how to make the positive choices that will contribute to a healthy and successful life and career.
Marilyn Tam grew up as an abused and neglected child in Hong Kong. She found her life purpose at age 11 when she found out as bad as her life was; she was much better off than her classmate, Rebecca. Wanting to help others and to right the wrongs, she left home as a teen to come to America alone to study. She became a business leader (CEO Of Aveda, President of Reebok and Vice President of Nike) and global humanitarian.
The Happiness Choice tells the stories and insights from Marilyn and many experts, including, Jack Canfield, Joan Borysenko, Harville Hendrix, Arielle Ford and others on how to live the life of your dreams. The book was #3 top business book in March (800 CEO Read), and won the Silver Medal in the Global eBook Awards 2013 in the Inspirational/Visionary category. Her radio show, The Happiness Choice on FMG Network is broadcast globally to over 30 million listeners.
You can get more free insights and find out about Marilyn on her website http://www.marilyntam.com
Marilyn Tam is an international selling author, speaker, entrepreneur, humanitarian and former CEO of Aveda, President of Reebok Apparel Products & Retail Group and VP of Nike and the Founder and Executive Director of Us Foundation.
Do you recognize that you are being cast into a role at work and you feel stuck? On this week’s show, we’re going to discuss how we sometimes get stereotyped at work and how this can limit our career potential. We can get put in a box and then it’s really challenging to change people’s perceptions once they see you a certain way. Joining me this week are Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster, who will help us recognize the different stereotypes we may be caught up in and how to break free from them to better manage our careers.
Katherine Crowley is a Harvard trained psychotherapist and Kathi Elster a management consultant and executive coach. Their company is K Squared Enterprises.
Since 1989, they’ve combined their expertise to develop a unique method for dealing with difficult people and challenging conditions at wor
Bestselling authors, educators, public speakers, and executive coaches, Katherine and Kathi are experts in the area of professional fulfillment through self-awareness and self-management.
They have appeared on Good Morning America, CNN, The Today Show, Good Day NY and many radio shows. Together they’ve written Working for You isn’t Working for Me, Working with you is Killing Me, and now their latest book, Mean Girls at Work: How to Stay Professional When Things Get Personal.
Why do we always put everyone else first?
My guest today, Saundra Pelletier, says, “women have been programmed to be pleasers who forgo our dreams so that our husbands, children, siblings and co workers can have more.” We fall on the bottom of our priority list and as a result do not realize our own dreams and can lead unfulfilling lives.
In her book, Saddle Up Your Own White Horse, Saundra shows us how to reach our dreams and have it all.
Saundra Pelletier has over 20 years of experience as an international marketing expert in addition to being a mother, published author and executive coach. She traveled the country as a keynote speaker for women’s organizations and corporations as part of her 2008 national book tour, “Saddle Up Your Own White Horse” and she has raised awareness for international equality.
She has dedicated her life and career to empowering women and has been a major force in bringing attention to the need for women globally to access reproductive health supplies and to achieve this goal.
Ms. Pelletier is the CEO of Woman Care Global, and has worked tirelessly to grow Woman Care Global’s reach to over 100 countries with a focus on underserved markets in Africa and Asia as a global nonprofit organization that improves the lives of women by providing access to quality, affordable women’s healthcare products through a sustainable supply chain.
This past week I moved from Martha’s Vineyard to Connecticut; lots of packing and unpacking; organizing and discarding. Now that I am fairly (?) settled in my new place, I realize how challenging change can be, even when we plan for it.
Our daily routines are programed in our heads and once our circumstances change, it’s disorienting. For instance, when you’re in the kitchen making your morning coffee, you naturally expect the coffee, the refrigerator, the coffee pot to be where you always had it. You have muscle memory of your routines.
You get up in the night to use the bathroom. You expect to walk in a certain direction. Now that’s changed and perhaps you walk into a wall before you realize things are different!
We have “muscle” memory of our everyday lives which makes us feel comfortable and safe. Once all that is turned upside down, we are challenged in new ways to build new routines and habits.
This change, though stressful, is good for our brain health and well being. We learn to stimulate our brains in new ways.
When was the last time you changed your routine?
What would happen if you rearranged your workspace for starters?
Too often we get stagnant in our work and our lives. If your job has become too routine, look for new opportunities at work to build your skills and challenge yourself. Perhaps investigate taking some courses to build your skill set in a certain area or look for volunteer opportunities in your community.
Don’t be afraid of change. It’s stimulating. Change things up a bit to stay vibrant, healthy, and marketable!
This week’s show focuses on decision making and how and why using our inner voice helps us to make sound professional and personal decisions. We are faced with situations every day that call for us to make decisions. Sometimes these are really big decisions and sometimes not. Sometimes we need a quick response and sometimes we have more time to ponder and get confused. But it is likely that whatever type of decision we are faced with, we will add to the confusion by not going with our gut feelings.
We’re going to learn how to listen more to our gut feelings and why this is, in fact, a better way to make decisions that work well for us.
My guest is Karol Ward. Karol is licensed psychotherapist, confidence expert and speaker. She is the author of Worried Sick: Break Free From Chronic Worry to Achieve Mental & Physical Health (Berkley), which helps readers understand and reduce the impact of worry in their lives and Find Your inner Voice: Using Instinct and Intuition Through the Body-Mind Connection (Career Press), which teaches readers how to use their instinct and intellect for powerful professional and personal decision making. She recently delivered a TEDx Talk at TEDx TimesSquare on how to trust your gut by paying attention to the body-mind connection.
Karol has appeared as a psychological and communication expert on CNN, NBC, ABC, Fox News, and Good Day New York along with numerous radio programs. She has been featured in such media outlets as Cosmopolitan, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Daily News, US News & World Report, Women’s Day, Family Circle, Spirituality & Health, Oprah.com, iVillage.com and Forbes.com among others.
It’s ok to “lean in”. It’s ok to “lean out”. It’s ok to opt-out. As I was writing this, I had a visualization of doing the hokey pokey. Do you remember that from your childhood?
“You put your whole self in. You put your whole self out. You put your whole self in and your shake yourself about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That’s what it all about.”
We all need to decide for ourselves what we want most from our careers and our lives and make it happen. The most important message here is to take control of your career and understand how, when, and where you need to “lean in” to accomplish your goals.
For those of you who have embraced your ambition and are, in fact, leaning in, it’s critical to understand all the dynamics involved to move your career forward. Deciding your goal and charting a strategic path to reach that goal is a proven method for success. Leaning in fuels your forward momentum.
If you are opting-out right now to spend more time with your family, having a long range plan also helps you to stay involved in your work at some level and keep yourself marketable. Keep your network alive and make an effort to stay in touch. Stay active in some industry networking groups to maintain your connections and stay abreast of what’s happening in the workplace.
Wherever you are right now in your life and career, put your “whole self in”. Put a strategic plan in place to advance your career or re-enter the workforce at some future date. You can always “turn yourself about” and change direction. Having a plan, however, keeps you focused on moving forward even if you are temporarily opting out.
We all do it. We make mistakes every day; some big mistakes and some minor ones. It’s part of life. Do you know that if you Google “learning from failure”, you will get about 129 million results? So you are not alone. We can’t avoid our missteps but we can learn from them.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my career is now the subject of a popular keynote presentation and workshop that I offer, The Anatomy of a Blindside. My belief that my track record and performance alone would get me promoted resulted in me being passed over for a promotion I thought I deserved. My failure was to understand the politics and build relationships in the organization with key stakeholders, decision makers. The lessons I learned from this now help other professional women avoid the landmines and successfully navigate the reality of the workplace.
Today’s work requires a new leadership paradigm. Vulnerability is now considered a core competency for leadership. We all make mistakes. No one can possibly know everything and admitting we don’t have all the answers; admitting that we make mistakes is now considered a strength for today’s leadership. Admitting our vulnerability inspires others especially when we share our mistakes and the lessons we have learned.
Think about some of the mistakes you have made in your career. How did you react? Did you learn lessons that you were able to apply later on?
I would love to hear from you. What are some of the lessons you have learned along the way?