Confidence Equals Competence
I have a power point slide in many of my keynote presentations that states Confidence = Competence. When this slide appears, it’s always an “ah-hah” moment for many people in the audience. Isn’t it true though? When you present yourself with confidence, people assume you are competent.
Think about your own purchasing decisions. Would you be willing to purchase a product or service from someone who lacks confidence; who stumbles through their sales presentation and seems unprepared and anxious? You would no doubt hesitate unless you felt sorry for them. (Not a good reason to buy, by the way.) You hesitate in this case because you believe that when a person lacks confidence in their presentation, they may lack competence. As an entrepreneur, it’s important to understand this when selling your own products and services.
Now, I’m not saying it’s necessarily true. It’s just our perception. But the perception is important because that is what people base their decisions on.
Maybe you’re not an entrepreneur, but a woman with ambition to get ahead in her organization. You are talented and gifted and produce great results, but when it comes to presenting those results, speaking up in meetings, you fumble and stammer. Do you come across as a potential leader? Probably not!
I’m not a proponent of faking confidence. I’ve read some articles that say “fake it until you make it.” I’m against this tactic because authenticity is so important in our presentation. It is, in fact, this connection with our authentic selves and the value that we offer that is the foundation of the confidence we need in order to present ourselves as competent. This authenticity inspires trust and it’s vital for our success in business.
I do a lot of speaking now about the topic of understanding your value because I believe until we understand and connect with our unique gifts and value proposition, we will continue to lack the confidence to present ourselves as competent.
Do you understand your unique value or the value that your products and services offer?
Starting January 10th, I am be offering a four week group coaching program that will take you on a journey of self-discovery to understand your value and better position yourself to grow your business or advance your career. This four week program will be done via phone and participants will receive four hours of coaching, valuable worksheets and exercises as well as feedback from a group of like-minded professionals. Each participant will also receive mp3 recordings of every class.
Check out my website, for more information! And be one of 10 lucky women to take this journey. The group will be limited to 10 so please register now.
How to Create Good Conversation
This is a guest post by Brian Tracy. Author of Full Engagement!: Inspire, Motivate, And Bring Out the Best In Your People
Almost all successful and happy people are good conversationalists. They have developed an ability to communicate naturally and spontaneously with almost anyone they meet.
Good conversationalists are a pleasure to be around and they are welcome wherever they go. Learning the art and skill of good conversation can help you in virtually every human relationship, both at business and at home.
In this post, I’m going to talk about some of the things that you can do to become a more effective conversationalist. As with anything worthwhile, these ideas require practice, over and over, until they become a normal and natural part of your personality. Once you begin putting these points into action, you will feel more confident and competent in your interactions with virtually anyone and everyone you meet.
There are three aims and purposes of conversation.
Aim #1:
The first is the plain enjoyment and pleasure of self-expression and interaction with other people. One of the most enjoyable things we ever do is to spend time with people we like and whose company we find stimulating and fun. This potential pleasure is the driving force behind all of our social activities. We like to get together with people with whom we have a lot in common and just share ideas, letting the conversation go where it will.
Aim #2:
The second aim or purpose of conversation is to get to know the other person better. In sales, and in all kinds of business, you require prolonged exposure to another person in order to get a feel for how he or she thinks, feels and reacts. This can’t be accomplished in a short meeting. Many customers will have a salesperson come back several times to converse and explain his product or service. These conversations may cover some of the same ground but their major purpose is to help the customer assess whether or not he or she wants to get involved with the salesperson and his company.
In our personal relationships, there is no substitute for extended periods of conversation in the social development of friendships and more intimate relationships. People who get along very well together have almost invariably spent a lot of time just talking about various subjects as they come up.
Aim #3:
The third aim of conversation is to build trust and credibility between two people. This is perhaps the most important thing we do as we proceed through life and it is only possible with the kind of continuous conversation that reveals us to each other.
Sometime ago, I was asked to present a proposal for a strategic planning session for the senior executives of a billion dollar corporation. This presentation was to the president of the company and two of his senior executives. When the presentation was over, the president concluded the formal meeting and suggested that he and I go for a drive.
He called for his car to be brought around to the front of the company offices. We took the elevator down, got in the car and he had his driver take us to a large city park some miles away. When we arrived at the park, he suggested that we get out and walk for a while. We ended up walking for about an hour and a half, with the conversation going back and forth from business to personal life and touching on other subjects. There was no detailed discussion of my proposal, the cost of the strategic planning session, or the logistics. What he seemed to want more than anything else was to get an idea of my general philosophy and approach to life.
At the end of the hour and a half, as we got back into the car, he told me that he had decided to go ahead with the strategic planning session and that he would leave it to me from that moment onward. We then drove back to the company where we parted until the strategic planning session some weeks later. The conversation during the walk in the park had been the clincher.
Conversation Tips:
One of the very best ways to learn about another person is to spend unbroken time in their company. I’ve found that a two or three hour car trip is one of the most revealing experiences you will ever have with another human being. People who have gotten along well for many years working or socializing together in brief stints will often find that an extended car trip brings out elements of their personalities that they did not even know existed.
Before you enter into any serious business or personal relationship with anyone, you should spend several hours with them experiencing the ebb and flow of sustained conversation. It’s amazing what you will learn.
Many people think that the art of good conversation is to speak in an interesting and arresting fashion, to be noted for your humor, your ability to tell stories, and your general knowledge of a variety of subjects. Many people feel that, if they want to be better at conversation, they must become more articulate, outgoing and expressive. They think that they must become better talkers.
Nothing could be further from the truth. As you’ve heard many times before, we come into this world with two ears and one mouth and we should use them in that same proportion. In conversation, this simply means that you should listen twice as much as you talk if you want to get a reputation for being an excellent conversationalist.
The art of good conversation centers very much on your ability to ask questions and to listen attentively to the answers. You can lace the conversation with your insights, ideas and opinions, but you perfect the art and skill of conversation by perfecting the art and skill of asking good, well worded questions that not only make the conversation go in the direction you want, but it gives other people an opportunity to express themselves.
Author Bio
Brian Tracy, author of Full Engagement!: Inspire, Motivate, and Bring Out the Best in Your People, is one of the top business speakers and authorites in the world today. He has spoken in almost every city in the US and Canada, and in 58 other countries. He addresses more than 250,000 people worldwide each year. He has written 50 books and produced more than 500 audio and video learning programs on management, motivation, and personal success. He is the president of Brian Tracy International as well as Business Growth Strategies, which is the preeminent Internet business learning portal in the world today. He lives is Solana Beach, California.
For more information please visit http://www.briantracy.com and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter
The Importance of Building Bridges
A senior vice president walks into the company’s executive committee meeting to introduce her plan to roll out a new consumer product. She has prepared and practiced her presentation. She has anticipated questions and push backs and prepared her responses. She has clearly outlined the benefits of this program for the company.
She stands in front of the room and confidently presents her vision and plan. Something doesn’t feel right however. Sure, there is some head nodding and some note taking, but none of the enthusiasm she anticipated. What went wrong? What was missing from her selling this idea to the committee?
The missing piece has nothing to do with her delivery or presentation or idea. It has everything to do with the fact that she did not build bridges beforehand. If she had met with each individual on the committee beforehand, asked for their input, and sold them on her idea, potentially she would have had a room full of enthusiastic supporters.
Each member of the executive committee is interested in programs that benefit the company, but they also want to feel they have been included in the process. They are interested in how it will affect and benefit them.
The lesson here is clear. It’s important to build your bridges beforehand. Sell to the individuals first. Ask for their input. Tailor your message so it resonates with each person. Use the information you have about their interests, drive, and motivation to win their approval. Then as you present your plan to the team, they will feel that they are part of your vision. They will help you to sell the plan to others.
The Big Juicy Payoff
Our decision to buy a new car is often more about the status and sex appeal than transportation and functionality.
We can purchase a great looking pair of jeans any where, but we are more likely to choose a popular brand that has some status and recognition. The advertisements tell us we will be more attractive and appealing in these jeans and we believe it. We pay more money even if we can’t afford it, for the opportunity to wear these status symbols.
So what’s this all about?
It’s all about the emotional connection. The advertisers create an emotional benefit for you when you purchase and use their products; a big juicy payoff. You will be more attractive, sexy, respected, admired, etc. That’s the big payoff; not the specific features of the products themselves.
As entrepreneurs, we often make the mistake of focusing on the features and details of our products and services instead of the big emotional payoff. We don’t make the emotional connection between what we offer and what our customers need.
Think about your target audience. What is their need or their pain, and how does your product or service fulfill their need?
Making this emotional connection is the most powerful way to promote your business. Identify the big juicy payoff or emotional benefit and clearly communicate that to your prospects. You will grab their attention and win their business.
There can be a big payoff for you in more clients, more referrals and more money!
I’ve designed a 90-Day Intensive Program for Entrepreneurs that starts January 20th for entrepreneurs who are challenged promoting themselves and their business.
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Check out the program now and invest in yourself and your business. Imagine feeling confident and comfortable selling your services! Register now and take advantage of the special discount and gifts.
Good Listening is the Secret to Building Relationships
This week marks the first anniversary of my radio show, Head over Heels. Now, fifty two weeks later, more than fifty interviews later, and more work than I ever anticipated, the radio show has taken on a life of it’s own.
One year ago, I was open to trying something new and learning new skills; how to conduct good interviews; how to find interesting topics and guests; how to present valuable information to my listeners. I have had many terrific guests on the show who have taught me a great deal about a variety of subjects such as diversity issues and leadership, negotiation skills, accessing capital, how to use social media to build your business, how to communicate more effectively, how to create and maintain work/life balance, and many more. I am grateful to the generosity of all the women who have been on my show and graciously donated their time and expertise.
Thinking back on the experience of the last year, I believe that one of the most important skills I developed doing live radio has been to listen and listen intently. When you do live radio, you don’t have the opportunity to see the other person. You cannot always anticipate their rhythm, if they are pausing for a breath or completing their thought. Everyone has unique speech patterns and communication skills. Some of my guests are very animated and have many examples and stories to share. Others are direct and give clear concise statements. The point is that I almost never know before we go live how they will respond. Most of the time, I have never spoken to my guests ahead of time. Scary, huh?
But that’s where good listening comes in. I have learned to tune in to each person’s rhythm and personality by listening and focusing on the present. I have learned to listen carefully to their response and see if there is a logical follow up question. I have learned not to focus on what my next question is, but what they are saying right now that has significance.
As host of the radio show, I have learned to intentionally put my agenda aside, and focus 100% on my guests and the information they have to share. In the end, that’s the “secret sauce” to conducting successful interviews. But isn’t good listening also the “secret sauce” for building and sustaining relationships?
Next time you are meeting with a client or prospect, or engaged in a conversation with a friend, try to listen more intently to what they are saying, stay present, and put your own agenda aside for a moment and see how that affects the conversation. The more you practice this, the better you’ll be at building relationships to improve your professional and business life.
Why Do Car Salesmen Have a Bad Reputation?
Why do car salesmen have a bad reputation? Why do we hate those nagging telephone calls from strangers telling us to buy something? The reason, I believe, is that the sales techniques they use are impersonal and we often feel that something is being forced on us that we do not want or need.
The fact of the matter is that even if we do need the product or service that’s being promoted, we are so turned off by their approach, that we can’t wait to escape from the conversation. We say, “I’m just looking, thank you” and hope to be left alone or we hang up. Quite simply, we don’t like being told what we need and what we should purchase. Most of us like to make our own buying decisions.
With that in mind, it is important for anyone who is promoting their own product or service to be aware of how they themselves feel when they are being sold to. Very often, we are so focused on selling the product or service we provide, that we don’t take the time to tailor our message to the potential buyer. We don’t take the time to ask the right questions to see if, in fact, this person needs what we have to sell. If we use one generic approach for all potential buyers, we will not make the necessary connection with the person to close the sale.
Asking questions is, of course, a great way to ascertain if there is a need for what we are selling. Open ended questions such as, “how?”, “when?”, “where?”, “what?”, “how much?” elicit the information we need. The process of asking questions, listening, and responding, creates the foundation for a relationship and it is the relationship that is critical in the end to closing the sale. When a stranger tries to force us to buy something, we get agitated, defensive, and immediately put up a protective wall.
So maybe you’re not a car salesman. Maybe you’re an entrepreneur who must promote their services in order to grow their business. How does this apply to self-promotion? Do the same sales techniques apply when you are promoting yourself? Absolutely! When you are in a conversation and someone asks you what you do, you are certainly in the position to talk about your business and the benefits and value it provides for your clients. But how do you know if this person is a potential client unless you begin to ask them questions to get to know them better?
Remember how you feel when someone tries to sell to you. How do you feel when someone gives you a generic one-size –fits- all pitch? Ask questions that will help you get to know the person better. Ask questions to determine their need; their pain. Then deliver your own irresistible pitch so that they understand very clearly what you do and the energy and passion you have for your business. It may be that this person is not a potential client, but by establishing a relationship, you are setting the stage for referrals or even a future sale.
What Is Your Attention Grabber?
I was in Orlando this past week with some colleagues training a medical device sales force on “purposeful communication”. “Purposeful Communication” is communication that has a goal or desired outcome and when applied to sales presentations, the objective is to create a sales presentation that is well organized around a desired outcome with your target audience.
Selling to a large or small group of potential decision makers has many similarities to promoting yourself and your business to prospective clients. One similarity is in the way you open a presentation. The opening of a sales presentation or “attention grabber” is much like the way you start your elevator pitch or promotional message.
Attention grabbers are just that. They are designed to get the attention of the audience from the start so that they will engage and listen to your message.
How effective is your attention grabber?
Here are some different suggestions on how to open your pitch to grab attention from the listeners.
- Open your pitch with a statement or question that creates some kind of an emotional bond. A good way to create an emotional bond might be to say, “Imagine yourself….. or how would it feel if….”. You can move your listener to a state of mind or emotion where they will connect with their need for your product or services.
- Ask a poignant question that demonstrates that you get their problem or challenges. “Have you ever experienced….? What do you do when….? etc.
- Share a story about yourself and your journey that connects with your business in some way. Maybe you experienced similar issues, overcame those issues and now are passionate about helping other people.
- Make a statement that has an unexpected ending or is surprising in some way.
- Use a quote or song title or lyric that people can easily identify with and fits well into your message.
Starting your promotional pitch with your name and company name is NOT a great attention grabber. You need to give people a reason to remember you before you give them this information.
Draw them in first with something that gets their attention and then talk about your business and the benefit your product or service will provide to them. NOW, they will remember your name and company!
Karmen Gardner, Realtor, Keller Williams Realty
Karmen is a licensed Realtor who provides exceptional service for her clients. She has recently become certified in affordable housing. Her experience in business management and customer relations has taught her that building a relationship with her clients is the key to win-win deals and positive results.
Her website: http://karmengardner.yourkwagent.com
[podcast]http://womenssuccesscoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/karmengardner-6-23-09.mp3[/podcast]Karmen
Stop Talking Already!
This is a guest post by Laura Caton from The Cornerstone Group Inc. www.thecornerstonegroupinc.com
To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation. ~Chinese proverb.
On May 21, more than 200 people attended the Sales 2.0 Conference hosted by Selling Power Magazine in Boston; unfortunately I was not one of them. However, a good friend of mine did attend and she came back from this meeting, brimming with enthusiasm. As we sat enjoying a delicious glass of chardonnay Saturday night, she explained her renewed gusto for selling–she was reborn. We talked about social networking and how this was the new way to generate leads. We both bemoaned the lead time for closing a sale and how businesses appear to be paralyzed by spending, any spending!
One of the more interesting observations that apparently came out of this conference for her was from Gerhard Gschwandtner, Founder and CEO of Personal Selling Power Inc. In his opening speech, “7 Key Trends in Selling,” he talks about ditching the pitch. (btw, Bonnie offers a program called Ditch the Pitch). She said, “You know, it’s more about having a conversation. It’s more important than ever before to talk with prospects, as opposed to at them.” Wow, I didn’t know this was a news flash. I was even more surprised to hear my friend, who I also saw at the hunter/sales person personified, say this straight faced—as if this was news to her! Quite frankly, I was more interested in drinking my wine and talking recipes from this month’s Food and Wine.
Curious as to what else happened at this conference, I went on the Sales 2.0′s web site for more information. I stumbled upon this, Barry Trailer, a Partner at CSO Insights, was quoted as saying, “The number one mistake I see in the area of “customer engagement” is that the Sales Reps think they should be doing all the talking”. Okay, maybe doing the stop, listen and listen is a news flash!
As a wholesaler for a large mutual fund company in the early 80′s, the sales approach was the same; product, product, product. Every quarter was devoted to hawking a particular sector. Jam it down their throats whether it fit our audience’s business model or not. It was a matter of shelf space for prospectuses at the Merrill Lynch office and points earned for fantastic due diligence trips. Just pitch the fund du jour and move to the next office. It was an unfulfilling sales position to say the least and I felt, dare I say, whorish at times.
Taking a more customer focused/consultative sales approach to selling is all about listening, and then asking strategic and investigative questions (so you do get to talk!). It applies to every sales appointment, phone conversation, and meeting you have with a potential buyer. Nancy Martini, CEO of PI Worldwide, states, “In a selling situation, the real world is divided into two “worlds” – yours and the prospects/clients. Often, sales professionals only focus on the “world” they are familiar with, their own.” The key is you can’t ask strategic questions if you don’t start by listening to the client or prospects’ needs.
Listening provides you with the information you want to work effectively in the prospect’s world. Good listening means you can link your value proposition to the client’s specific needs. It also means you can have a meaningful, shared conversation, as Mr. Gschwandtner suggests.
Most of us love to talk and listening is pretty hard. Many of us in sales love to share and socially connect with a person; which means talking.
So here’s a question, how well do you listen? Listening does not mean nodding your head in agreement and waiting to say what you want (this is my big listening challenge). It truly means putting your agenda aside. Make a point to practice good listening skills. Good listening is a commanding skill, which can set you apart from other out there. Ditch the pitch, sit back and never stop listening.
With extensive expertise in organizational & leadership development, the Cornerstone Group helps clients to build more productive organizations by better leveraging their most important asset, people.
Their unique approach to assessing people, finding their core strengths, and leveraging those strengths in current and future roles helps their clients to hire smarter, manage more effectively, and develop stronger leaders. Their unique process of assessment, training, consulting and ongoing support allows them to partner with their clients and create a road map for organizational success. www.thecornerstonegroupinc.com
Why Can’t We Just Get Along? Women Bullying Other Women
Don’t we have enough obstacles in the workplace without having to deal with other women sabotaging our efforts? Why can’t women just get along and support each other in their efforts to advance their careers?
The New York Times this week ran an article, “Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work”, http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/10/business/10women.html that presented statistics to support the fact that 40% of all workplace bullies are women and that women bully other women 70% of the time!
Bullying is categorized as behavior that can include spreading rumors to derail someone’s career, withholding important promotional information, pushing and shoving (yes, do you believe this one?), bad mouthing others, passive aggressive behavior and more.
So why does this type of sabotaging behavior occur in the workplace?
There are several theories:
- Women need to adopt aggressive behavior to get ahead and once they are in a leadership position they still maintain this behavior.
- Women see other women as potential threats and competitors.
- There is not much opportunity for advancement and so women are more competitive.
- Women are being stereotyped as “bullies” but this is not necessarily the case.
- Women are insecure in their leadership positions and feel the necessity to sabotage other women to maintain their position of power.
Here is a wonderful quote from the article,
As we get into the corporate world, we’re taught or we’re led to believe that we don’t get ahead because of men. But, we really don’t get ahead because of ourselves. Instead of building each other up and showcasing each other, we’re constantly tearing each other down.
Do you see evidence of women bullying other women in your workplace?
Have you experienced another woman sabotaging your efforts at work?
I would love to hear from you. Please send your comments!
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