The Language of Power
In her book, No Ceilings, No Walls, author Susan Colantuono says:
As essential as it is to understand the business of business, it is necessary but insufficient. You not only have to have business strategic and financial acumen, you must also be able to demonstrate it by using the language of power.
Susan talks about the language of power being the language of outcomes and the importance of stating clear business objectives and outcomes to demonstrate the power of your solutions, ideas, goals.
I think that there is, however, a universal language of power that women need to embrace to advance their careers and be successful in any business. We, as women, tend to “skirt” around powerful language.
Case in point, I was at a training class a couple of weeks ago and the presenter, who was exceedingly qualified, stood up to start her presentation with what I think is close to an apology. She said…”well, I just have some handouts here”. OK. Most people probably didn’t even tune into this, but since this is my area of expertise, I could not help but notice. “Just have some handouts”? Why did she feel the need to apologize for her work? It’s almost as if she thought she was putting us out in some way by giving us handouts.
But we all do this all the time. We apologize more than necessary. We use words that diminish or weaken our statements or points of view.
In her book, Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, Lois Frankel dedicates a chapter, “How You Sound”, to this topic. Lois writes specifically about using minimizing words such as “just”.
She says,
Minimizing Words are those that diminish the importance or size of an achievement.
Lois emphasizes the point that if we want to be taken seriously, we need to drop these minimizers.
Here’s my point: You can do your homework and create an impactful message and an action plan on how best to increase your credibility and visibility in your workplace, but if you continue to use language that weakens your position, you won’t get the results you desire.
Be conscious of the words you choose. Listen carefully to other women at work and be mindful if they are guilty of the same self-sabotaging behavior. Tactfully let them know the affect it has on their overall message and professional image.
Once you increase your own sensitivity to this, you will be able to change your behavior, delete the minimizers, and use more powerful language to strengthen your message instead of weaken it.
Tune into Head over Heels Radio on Tuesday, August 3rd to hear Susan Colantuono discuss how to use the language of power and other skills that women need to know in order to advance their careers.
Also, you can hear Lois Frankel discuss this as well on Head over Heels archived show, November 10, 2009.
How to Be a Thought Leader
Last week I attended a panel discussion at Barclay’s in New York City on the topic of How to Be a Thought Leader. The panel included Nicki Gilmour, CEO of The Glass Hammer, Carol Hymowitz, Editorial Director of Forbes Woman, and Barbara Jones, of Editorial Director of Hyperion Books. The discussion focused on professional women and thought leadership.
According to Wikipedia,
A thought leader is a futurist or person who is recognized for innovative ideas and demonstrates the confidence to promote or share those ideas as actionable distilled insights.
The panel was in agreement that in order to be a thought leader, it’s not enough to be creative and innovative. One must also have the ability and confidence to promote their ideas.
Part of the discussion addressed how women are not really good at speaking up and promoting their ideas; how we often take the back seat to men in the workplace. What is the best way to communicate your ideas so that others will be inspired and motivated to support you?
I don’t know why it always surprises me that the majority of these discussions about women and leadership end up focusing on women and self promotion and self confidence. I was sitting in the audience nodding my head. Self confidence and self promotion are necessary ingredients for women’s leadership and career success. I can’t stress it enough. And though my readers are probably tired of reading this, you can have the best ideas and the best business concept, and if you don’t have the confidence to promote your ideas and the skill to communicate effectively, you will not become the thought leader you desire to be. Thought leadership requires both components; the thought and leadership skills. Leadership implies that you have the ability to get your message across to others to both inspire and motivate action on their part.
Of course, the discussion last week also touched on the “double bind” concept that as women we need to be mindful of the way we promote ourselves; men can get away with outright bragging and we can’t. The double bind is widely accepted as part of our current culture. Women need to recognize that there is an art to creating the credibility and visibility you need to be a thought leader without sabotaging your efforts.
First, clarify your thoughts and ideas.
Second, create a compelling and passionate message.
Third, be strategic. Identify the web of influence in your internal and external networks who need to hear your message.
Fourth, develop a communication/action plan to consistently be visible to these stakeholders to communicate your message.
Fifth, follow the action plan and modify as necessary.
Use the energy and passion you have for your ideas to propel you into action. Once you are motivated to action, as a thought leader you need to communicate your message to inspire and motivate others to action.
The Invisible Promotion
Harvard Business Review published an interesting article recently, “Are You The Victim of An Invisible Promotion?” by Ron Ashkenas.
The post poses some direct questions to the reader about whether or not your role has changed significantly in the past six months and whether you have been given new responsibilities with no formal promotion or pay raise. Ashkenas reminds us that the practice of assigning more responsibility without changes in job title or description has become more common lately due to the reorganization and downsizing of companies.
I suppose that any of us who have survived downsizing feel very fortunate to still have a job. In this situation, we are more likely to take on more responsibility without a promotion because we not only feel lucky to have a job, but also somewhat vulnerable and sensitive to the instability of the company and the economy. We want to keep our jobs.
That being said, we also need to realize the value that we bring to our company and not let the fact that we have taken on more responsibility go unnoticed.
Ashkenas has some great advice:
…don’t wait for your boss or someone else to recognize that you’ve been invisibly promoted. Revise your job description or create some bullet points about what the job now entails. Have an honest discussion with your immediate supervisor about what it will take to achieve these expanded responsibilities, how you will develop the skills needed, what you may need to do differently, and what he or she can do to help.
I think that Ashkenas’s article has a special message for professional women. In my opinion and from my own business and coaching experience, I have witnessed that many women have difficulty standing up for what they want and need. Women are more likely to take on extra work without requesting a visible promotion or salary increase. In fact, I would go so far as to say that women are more likely to take on the responsibilities and wait to be noticed and recognized without taking the credit or taking the initiative to have a conversation and negotiate a better title and compensation.
One of the most significant mistakes that professional women make is believing that if they work hard and do a good job, someone will recognize and reward them.
Talent and experience are not enough. Hard work is not enough. We must learn to speak up for ourselves and communicate to others our value and accomplishments in order to advance our careers.
Ashkenas states:
..make your invisible promotion visible both to you and to your boss. It will give you the recognition you deserve and the support you need to make sure that you don’t unintentionally become a victim of the Peter Principle.
I might add to this: Don’t be the victim of the assumption that if you remain invisible others will recognize and reward you.
Ditch the Pitch: A Presentation for Professional Coaches
Here is my presentation for BusinessforCoaches, a UK organization that supports professional coaches worldwide with professional development activities.
Ditch the Pitch Presentation for Coaches
If You Don’t Raise Your Hand, You Won’t Be Called On
If you don’t raise your hand, you won’t be called on and maybe that’s a good thing; a good thing, that is, if you want to remain invisible and safe. After all, when you raise your hand, you are risking public failure. When you raise your hand, you are sending a signal to everyone that you have the confidence to publicly state your opinion, volunteer for something, or ask a question (even at the risk of sounding clueless).
In an article written by Clay Shirky, a professor at NYU, titled “A Rant About Women”, he says
“To put yourself forward as someone good enough to do interesting things is, by definition, to expose yourself to all kinds of negative judgments, and as far as I can tell, the fact that other people get to decide what they think of your behavior leaves only two strategies for not suffering from those judgments: not doing anything, or not caring about the reaction”.
He points out in the article that women are more apt to do nothing and less apt than men to take risks and take advantage of important opportunities that may present themselves because they fear failure. He feels women are more concerned with what other people may think of them than what they want to achieve.
This type of behavior definitely has a negative impact for women when it comes to advancing their careers. If we are fearful of taking risks and taking advantage of new opportunities, we will not progress.
Why don’t we raise our hands more? It boils down to fear of failure, fear of what other people will think of us, lack of self-confidence, and most importantly, our belief that self-promoting behavior is not appropriate or acceptable.
Further in the article Clay writes:
“Another of my great students, now a peer and friend, saw a request from a magazine reporter doing a tech story and looking for examples. My friend, who’d previously been too quiet about her work, decided to write the reporter and say “My work is awesome. You should write about it.”
The reporter looked at her work and wrote back saying, “Your work is indeed awesome, and I will write about it. I also have to tell you you are the only woman who suggested her own work. Men do that all the time, but women wait for someone else to recommend them.”
When I look back at my own career, I can see that every major turning point involved me stepping up and raising my hand in some way. Yes, I will take the job to run a cardiac rehab center even though I have no business experience. Yes, I will move to Chicago from the east coast to run a company when I have never been a CEO before. Yes, I will leave corporate America to start my own business because I believe in my ability to be successful. And most recently, I said “yes” to VoiceAmerica when they called to ask me to become a radio host. I had no experience, but my belief in myself and my willingness to fail (in a very public way I might add) were major factors.
This is why I now focus my efforts on helping women promote themselves; because quite simple, we don’t raise our hands enough. Yes, there are many possible reasons why we are not better at self-advancement, but the consequences of not doing this well have a huge impact on the progress of women in business.
Why Do Car Salesmen Have a Bad Reputation?
Why do car salesmen have a bad reputation? Why do we hate those nagging telephone calls from strangers telling us to buy something? The reason, I believe, is that the sales techniques they use are impersonal and we often feel that something is being forced on us that we do not want or need.
The fact of the matter is that even if we do need the product or service that’s being promoted, we are so turned off by their approach, that we can’t wait to escape from the conversation. We say, “I’m just looking, thank you” and hope to be left alone or we hang up. Quite simply, we don’t like being told what we need and what we should purchase. Most of us like to make our own buying decisions.
With that in mind, it is important for anyone who is promoting their own product or service to be aware of how they themselves feel when they are being sold to. Very often, we are so focused on selling the product or service we provide, that we don’t take the time to tailor our message to the potential buyer. We don’t take the time to ask the right questions to see if, in fact, this person needs what we have to sell. If we use one generic approach for all potential buyers, we will not make the necessary connection with the person to close the sale.
Asking questions is, of course, a great way to ascertain if there is a need for what we are selling. Open ended questions such as, “how?”, “when?”, “where?”, “what?”, “how much?” elicit the information we need. The process of asking questions, listening, and responding, creates the foundation for a relationship and it is the relationship that is critical in the end to closing the sale. When a stranger tries to force us to buy something, we get agitated, defensive, and immediately put up a protective wall.
So maybe you’re not a car salesman. Maybe you’re an entrepreneur who must promote their services in order to grow their business. How does this apply to self-promotion? Do the same sales techniques apply when you are promoting yourself? Absolutely! When you are in a conversation and someone asks you what you do, you are certainly in the position to talk about your business and the benefits and value it provides for your clients. But how do you know if this person is a potential client unless you begin to ask them questions to get to know them better?
Remember how you feel when someone tries to sell to you. How do you feel when someone gives you a generic one-size –fits- all pitch? Ask questions that will help you get to know the person better. Ask questions to determine their need; their pain. Then deliver your own irresistible pitch so that they understand very clearly what you do and the energy and passion you have for your business. It may be that this person is not a potential client, but by establishing a relationship, you are setting the stage for referrals or even a future sale.
Do You Have What It Takes To Be An Entrepreneur?
The Harvard Business Review posted a test this week, “Should You Be an Entrepreneur?”
The test of 20 questions was created by the author of the article, Daniel Isenberg, who is a professor of management practice at Babson College.
I thought it would be fun to pose these questions to those of you who are entrepreneurs, like myself, or to those of you who are considering taking the leap to starting your own business.
Here they are:
- I don’t like being told what to do by people who are less capable than I am.
- I like challenging myself.
- I like to win.
- I like being my own boss.
- I always look for new and better ways to do things.
- I like to question conventional wisdom.
- I like to get people together in order to get things done.
- People get excited by my ideas.
- I am rarely satisfied or complacent.
- I can’t sit still.
- I can usually work my way out of a difficult situation.
- I would rather fail at my own thing than succeed at someone else’s.
- Whenever there is a problem, I am ready to jump right in.
- I think old dogs can learn — even invent — new tricks.
- Members of my family run their own businesses.
- I have friends who run their own businesses.
- I worked after school and during vacations when I was growing up.
- I get an adrenaline rush from selling things.
- I am exhilarated by achieving results.
- I could have written a better test than Isenberg (and here is what I would change ….)
According to Isenberg, if you answered “yes” to 17 or more of these questions, you have what it takes to be an entrepreneur. I can tell you this. I passed this test with flying colors!
I’m interested in getting your feedback on the questions. Do you think they are a good test of entrepreneurship?
How did you do on the test and what does that say about you?
I couldn’t help but notice #18, “I get an adrenaline rush from selling things”. This is definitely true for me, but what I believe is important for an entrepreneur is not necessarily getting a rush from selling things, but having the confidence and passion to sell YOURSELF . When you own your own business, you are not selling someone else’s products or services. You are selling YOU.
Your thoughts?
My interview on Ladies Power Hour
Jona MarieLemmonds interviews me about my career, entrepreneurship, and self promotion.
Are Women Good Networkers?
The Times Online from the UK, published an article in March called Why Women are Such Bad Networkers.
It’s no good thinking that hard work will get you anywhere. If you want to make it to the top, you’re going to have to overcome your fear of socializing and start schmoozing like men.
Of course, this caught my attention! Is this really true? Is it valid that women have a fear of socializing? Is it a valid point that women don’t schmooze like men? The implication is that men are better at building the social capital to advance their careers.
Let’s take one point at a time. I do believe that many women still feel that working hard is the best way to get ahead. Working hard yet being invisible in your company will not get you anywhere. While you are toiling away in your office long hours, men are working smarter by building social capital within the organization. Though this is a generalization, men do tend to be more visible. They promote themselves better than women. They take credit for their accomplishments and let other know the value that they bring; all this along with doing the tasks at hand. I’ve heard countless stories of women passed over for promotions due to a lack of visibility.
Lesson learned: Consciously put time aside to perform activities in your organization that will bring you more credibility and visibility. As an example, do you always work through lunch? Set aside at least one day a week to set up a lunch with a colleague. Be strategic about who you invite to lunch and widen your circle; increase your web of influence.
Next point: women are fearful of socializing. I do not believe this is true. Women love to socialize and, in fact, excel at building relationships. So what does the author of this article mean? I think the point is that women socialize differently than men. When it comes to building social capital to advance their careers, men are more direct.
In the article, Liz Cable, a social media expert, says,
I think when women hear the phrase ‘social network’, they hear social. Men hear network….Women are not promoting themselves in the right way. Many of them are slipping under the radar because they are afraid of people they don’t know saying no, either in person or online. Men don’t worry so much about rejection – they just go for it.
Despite 84 percent of users on the main social networking sites being female…twice as many men as women are likely to approach an unknown contact from an online network for business purposes’
Interesting statistic. Do you believe this is true? I’m not sure where the facts come from, but the point is still a good one.
Lesson learned: Widen your social circle online as well as in person. Make it a point to be more strategic about your online connections and contact people who will be able to build your business or increase your visibility in some fashion. It’s nice to accept invitations from others to connect online, but you can also be in control of who is in your network. Everyone who wants to be your “friend” online, may not be your best choice of a network contact. Do your own searches. Request introductions. Take the time to strategically build your network. Don’t leave it to chance.
I personally do not believe that women fear socializing. I just had the opportunity last week to do a presentation at the eWomen’s Network Boston Metro West chapter. Many of these networking organizations are now taking a different approach to the meetings in that they are facilitating networking by structuring activities that force women to connect, introduce themselves, and ask for what they need from others. I think this is great practice for women and I wondered to myself as I was participating in this exercise, if the dynamics of the meeting might change if men were present.
The author of the Times article expresses her point of view on women’s networking events,
In a business world still dominated by men, networking solely with other women is not much use.
There are many networking opportunities for women. For women who need practice promoting themselves and pitching their businesses, this is great. If your target audience is women, this is a great venue. However, I think we, as women, need to be more strategic with in person networking as well.
Lesson learned: Expand your networking events to include those events that have both men and women to build the social capital you need to advance your career and build your business. Be visible in your community through charity events. Volunteer to manage committees or projects at work that will help you stand out and then, of course, take the credit when you are successful.
Women are great at socializing but I think we need to be more strategic about how we network, who we include in our social networks, and how to promote ourselves to create the credibility and visibility we are need to advance our careers and build our businesses.
I would love to hear your thoughts on women and networking. Are we good at it?
Spring Has Sprung!
Are you feeling the buzz? At least here in the northeast, spring has sprung. After a long and painful winter, the warm weather is such a blessing, and the change happened so suddenly that we were caught off guard. The beginning of the week, we were still in winter doldrums and by mid week, it was easy to forget the stormy winter and look forward.
The advent of spring has brought a great new energy and optimism. Can you feel it? Let’s dust off the negative energy, the worries of the recession and the fear that accompanies it, and embrace the new positive force.
What does this mean for you personally and professionally?
What have you put off this winter due to low energy? exercise? proper diet? quality time with friends and family?
Maybe it’s time to choose a new stretch goal. Use all the positive energy to fuel your self confidence. You can do anything!
Forge new relationships. Get out and build your social network. It’s an investment in you and your business or career.
Focus your energy on getting a new job, taking on new responsibilities, completing a difficult project.
Look for opportunities to collaborate or partner to build your business. The possibilities for co-creation are endless. Tap into your creativity.
Yes, spring has sprung. Can you feel the buzz?
