Overcome Your Sabotaging Behavior for Career Success
Most companies now recruit men and women into management in equal numbers, but almost from the first level up the gender split drops off steadily. 80% of men move up to senior executive positions, when only 20% of women do. I know that there are still cultural barriers out there and many companies still maintain the good ol’ boys club, especially in certain industries.
We can’t control this but we can do things for ourselves that will help us to overcome these stereotypes and barriers and advance our careers and as we’ll discuss today, many of these obstacles are of our own making. We can control the way others perceive us. We can learn to communicate to others what value we bring to the table in an authentic and comfortable way. We can learn to demonstrate our value, showcase our talent to create the credibility we need. We can take credit for our accomplishments and build our reputation both inside and outside the company to strength our subject matter expertise. This needs to be an intentional and strategic focus and today I will discuss some specific ways women sabotage themselves and how they can best overcome their own obstacles.
Featured Guest
Joining me today is Mary Davis Holt. Mary is an executive coach and co-author of the book, Break Your Own Rules: How to Change the Patterns of Thinking That Block Women’s Path to Power. Mary has held numerous executive positions at Time Warner and is now principle with the Flynn Heath Holt Leadership, an executive coaching firm.
Listen or download the May 23rd 2012 show.
You Are Much More Than Your Job
A few months ago, I received a call from a woman looking for help to position herself for employment. She had been out of work for 18 months having a baby and was now ready to begin the process of finding a job. So I asked her what she did. There was a long pause and then she replied in a soft voice. “This is my problem. I can’t talk about myself at all, let alone articulate why someone should hire me.”
Wow! I thought. This was an extreme case of someone who had identified herself with her job and because she had been away from it for a while, she was lost. She was no longer connected to what she believed was her identity and value (her job).
Most of us spend more time at work than we do with our families and friends. We work long hours and our jobs consume a tremendous amount of our energy and focus. It’s understandable that we begin to “become” our jobs, and it’s a challenge to separate our identity and value from our work. That being said, we need to take the time to understand what value we bring to the job and how our value benefits the company and our clients if we want to be successful in moving our careers and businesses forward.
We are much more than our jobs. If all of you reading this had the exact same background and experience, the same position in the same company, you would still be unique and special because of the way you DO your work. Each of us brings something different to our work that defines us and sets us apart. Zeroing in on how you “deliver” the work is the first clue to identifying your unique value proposition and what differentiates you.
Charlotte Beers, former CEO of Olgivy and Mather, writes in her new book, I’d Rather Be In Charge, that it’s not about the work, but the way you deliver the work.
The way you deliver the work comes from an interior place. You know all about the exterior you; it’s right there on your resume. But your delivery is about the essence of who you become when you’re at work, your deepest, truest self sent out to play in the field of work.
Delivery means the way you get your work in front of the right people. It’s how you manage to get the work used properly and, drum roll please, ‘appreciated’.
Ask yourself this: How do you “deliver” the work? What is your contribution? This is your value and identity that will follow you to any job or any company because it’s not about the job, it’s YOU.
When you want to promote or position yourself for a job or attract new clients, remember this. Your value and how it benefits others is what people want to know about; not just what you do but how you do it.
Making a Difference in the World
Today we are going to hear a story that I hope will stimulate you to look inside yourself to discover what you can offer others. We are each here for a reason and we each have unique gifts to offer the world. As you listen to my guest, Jeanne Staples, today, think about what it is that you have to offer and how you can help others with your unique gifts and talent.
Featured Guest
Jeanne Staples has spent her entire professional career working in the arts. She is a full-time, professional artist who lives and works on the island of Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts, and is represented by galleries in Boston, New England and beyond. You can see firsthand the beautiful work she does on her website, www.jeannestaples.com.
She is also the Founder and Director of PeaceQuilts, a 501(c)(3) non-profit, humanitarian organization dedicated to relieving poverty in Haiti by establishing independent, self-managed and self-sustaining sewing cooperatives, and connecting them to international markets. This organization is best described in a book called Patience to Raise the Sun: Art Quilts from Haiti and their power to change women’s lives.
Listen to the May 16th show at 12 noon EDT or download the podcast.
The Best Advice My Mother Gave Me
In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought it would be fun to share some of these quotes I found after doing some research on Mother’s Day.
I hope you enjoy them!
The best advice my mother ever gave to me was: ‘Strivers achieve what dreamers believe. If you put your mind to it, you can do it. Be careful what you wish for because you might get it. And, listen to me, I’ve been through it already.
Usher, singer. Mother: Jonnetta Patton
When I was young, my mother always used to quote to me First Corinthians 15:33 which, paraphrased, says bad associations spoil youthful habits. As I came to understand, what my mom was telling me was to be careful who you let into your life. That one piece of advice has saved me countless heart aches, and I’ve never forgotten it to this day.
Gerald Levert, singer: Mother: Martha L. Levert
My mom once told me to always believe in yourself. Even if your chances are slim, or everyone else doesn’t believe in that, people will look up to you because you’re sticking to what you believe in, and they will admire that in you. That was the best advice I ever got from my mom.
Lorin, 12, Pennsylvania
Be happy. For we have only one life and that too is very short.
Jyoti, Surat
The best advice my mother ever gave me is “Don’t let other people make the choices for you and don’t let no one push you around.
Gabriela, 11, Canada
My mom is always telling me to be independent and follow my dreams and I will live a good, happy life.
Chris, 12, Alabama
When I was young and dating men, my mom always told me to watch how my boyfriends treated their mothers. She said they would treat me the same way. I found this to be so true. I have a husband who thought the world of his mom and shows that same love to me. It’s the best advice my mom ever gave me.
Mary Bentrup
What was the best advice you received from your mother?
Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
Bonnie
Do You Need Stress in Your Life to Reach Your Full Potential?
We live in an age of great stress. We are bombarded daily with more information than we can possibly assimilate, and we are always connected to this flow of information with our iPhone, Blackberry’s and computers. There is no end to the information that is at our finger tips 24/7. It seems there is no place to hide either. Our personal and professional lives are now publicly displayed across the Internet. The job market is tough, the economy weak, and competition for advancement has increased dramatically with more and more highly educated women in the workforce. And many of us are trying to balance our careers with a family as well.
It would seem only logical that we should strive to eliminate the stress in our lives in order to achieve more equilibrium, health, and happiness.
I thought it was interesting, therefore, to read a recent post, Stress is Not Your Enemy, by Tony Schwartz in Harvard Business Review that states that we need stress in our lives in order to reach our full potential.
Tony says, “Subjecting yourself to stress is the only way to systematically get stronger — physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. And you’ll get weaker if you don’t.”
This is the “use it or lose it” mentality that maintains that if you don’t exercise your mind and body “muscles”, you will atrophy and, as a consequence, will not be able to grow and improve.
We live by the myth that stress is the enemy in our lives. The real enemy is our failure to balance stress with intermittent rest. Push the body too hard for too long — chronic stress — and the result will indeed be burnout and breakdown. But subject the body to insufficient stress, and it will weaken and atrophy.
Few of us push ourselves nearly hard enough to realize our potential, nor do we rest, sleep, and renew nearly as deeply or for as long as we should.
The real message here is that moving outside your comfort zone can be stressful, but it also allows you to increase your skill set to advance your career. Stretching yourself to take on new responsibilities at work, volunteering for high profile projects, speaking up in meetings and voicing your opinions when you’d rather keep silent can certainly be stressful, but if you want to get out of the trenches and move your career forward, it’s important to take the leap even though it gives you some anxiety initially.
Tony Schwartz’s point is that we need to do these things to grow personally and professionally but we also need to learn how to better manage our stress and know when it’s right to take a break and rest. We are not going to eliminate all the stress from our lives, but we can certainly learn to control our reaction to stressful situations so that it does not derail us.
This Wednesday, May 9th, at noon EDT, Dr. Fred Luskin from Stanford University will be my guest on GPS Your Career: A Woman’s Guide to Success to discuss the simple techniques we can all do to manage the effect stress has on our personal and professional lives. I hope you can join us.
Do You Work For A Corporate Bully?
We hear a lot these days about bullying, mostly with teenagers. There seems to be a news story every week with some tragic incident due to cyber bullying. As parents, this is very upsetting and of course, no one wants their children to be subject to this type of behavior, but how many of us are also the target of bullying at work? Do you work for a corporate bully?
According to Susan Annunzio, CEO of the Center for High Performance in Chicago, here are the warning signs:
- If you disagree with him/her, you are labeled “incompetent”, “risk-averse”, a “naysayer”.
- They fall in love with an idea, position or deal and won’t listen to anyone else’s point of view.
- In your meetings, there is little room for disagreement or debate. It’s their way or the highway.
- Your accomplishments are never recognized.
- You are afraid to let him/her know any bad news, so you don’t say anything.
- You must always acknowledge their being right.
- They have a sense of superiority.
- You are always blamed when things go wrong. They never take any credit for their part.
- They never admit mistakes or apologize.
- You always seem to be in this game of “gotcha” and under a microscope.
We are often outraged when we hear about children being bullied, so I am curious how many of you subject yourselves to this every day in the workplace?
Experts will tell you to not get caught up in the emotions of these toxic relationships and make sure that you take care of yourself first and foremost and focus on your work and have gratitude for the other wonderful things in your life, but how do you do that? We spend so much of our time at work; so much of our identity and self-esteem is related to our performance, so it is easy to see how working with a bully can have a damaging effect to our health and well-being and also our careers. If you feel stuck in a bad situation, one that you don’t have a lot of control to change, you can literally “quit” giving your best, speaking your opinions, bringing any creativity and enthusiasm to your work. This is toxic to your career and your future.
So what do you do? How do you work around bullies at work? Well, if detaching emotionally is still not helping you and you find this is affecting your health, sleep, and happiness, I would initiate an exit plan and begin to look for other opportunities either in the company or with another organization. It’s a shame. Maybe this company is great and you have a pension and you don’t want to really leave. You feel like a victim. Sometimes you need to make a move. It may not be what you wanted, but you have only one life and one career. Find a place where your unique value and talent is appreciated and you will thrive professionally and personally.
Do you work for a corporate bully? Are you doing anything about it?
Tune in this Wednesday at noon EDT to GPS Your Career: A Woman’s Guide to Success, when I discuss executive bullying with my guest, Susan Annunzio.
The Challenges Facing Business Leaders Today
Leading an organization presents many challenges in today’s business environment. There is an atmosphere of continual change and economic pressure to survive and to be on top of the curve in terms of marketing and delivering exceptional service. So how do senior executives lead successfully in this environment? On Wednesday’s show, May 2nd, I’m going to discuss the challenges facing executives in business today and what leaders and managers need to know to create a culture that embraces the flexibility required for today’s environment and supports inclusion and high performance.
Featured Guest
My guest is Susan Annunzio, CEO of the Center for High Performance in Chicago. Susan is a strategic advisor to CEOs of leading global companies on strategy attainment and business transformation. Susan partners with senior executives to increase their ability to simplify complex strategic decisions through enhanced collaboration and creativity. She is a globally recognized speaker and thought leader on shaping and maintaining high-performance business environments. She has a strong track record helping leaders maximize returns on strategic, financial and human-capital investments. A former Adjunct Professor of Management at the University of Chicago Booth Graduate School of Business, Susan still teaches the most popular Executive Education Program, High Performance Leadership. She is the author of Contagious Success (Portfolio, 2004), a dynamic management book that revealed a global standard for high performance. Contagious Success was voted Fast Company’s Readers’ Choice. selection in January 2005. Additionally, Susan authored two more prominent business books: Communicoding and Evolutionary Leadership. Susan has been a guest on numerous local and national television and radio news programs and has been quoted extensively in the business press, including The Wall Street Journal, CNBC, BBC, USA Today and Bloomberg.
Listen to the May 2nd show or download the podcast.
Do Your Feelings About Money Hold You Back From Making Money?
Our feelings about money can be a very complicated issue. Most of us want to make enough money to maintain our lifestyle and pay our bills. Some of us look at our income as validation of our success and continually strive to make more money. Many of us shy away from the subject of money and don’t want to embrace the fact that money can be a positive force in their lives. 
Whatever your attitude about money is, it’s important to understand how it plays into your business and career success. In fact, your “money mindset” can help you be successful and live in abundance or it can continually sabotage your efforts to make a decent living.
I grew up in an upper middle class family in a wealthy suburb of New York City. We lived in a beautiful home, belonged to a country club, and my parents traveled all over the world. I didn’t lack any thing. I had dance lessons, music lessons, went to camp, went to the best schools. However, I thought we were poor. Honestly, I always thought we were on the verge of poverty. Why? Because my father, a child of the depression, instilled in my mother, my brother, and myself the belief that there was never enough money in our household. That was not true. It was his attitude and it became my attitude. The belief that there would never be enough money started in my childhood.
Years later, I realized where my belief system originated and how it was sabotaging me in my business and worked vigorously to change my mindset (and continue to work on it every day). One great resource who helped me change my mindset about money is David Neagle and I have adopted his mantra that “making money is part of my spiritual path”. There are many resources available and I strongly suggest you find a coach or mentor to help you through this because negative feelings about money can literally hold you back from a successful business or career.
Money means a lot of different things to different people, but to me it represents freedom, the freedom from worrying about paying my bills and to live my life the way I choose to live. I realize now that I have much to offer and that my talent is a gift that I offer others to help them be successful. Yes, money is the end result but because I understand my value and how I can help others, I no longer focus all my energy on the lack of money. Money is no longer a mental roadblock for me. I know that by helping professional women achieve their goals, feel self-confident and empowered by their unique value, I will be successful. Their success is my success.
What are your feelings about money? Are they working for you?
Multi-Generations in the Workplace: How They Can Thrive and Be Happy
Today’s topic is about multi-generations in the workplace. For the first time, we now have three highly influential generations working together. All three generations, X, Y, and Boomers, have the opportunity to make a major impact in business. But these generations are very different. They have different perspectives, opinions, values, habits, and goals based on their demographic. What are these generations looking for from their employers today? What do they need? What is the key to having them all work together harmoniously? What can today’s business leaders do to keep them happy?
Featured Guest
Today, I have a fabulous guest who will help us understand the challenges of having these generations working together. Cheryl Cran is a sought after consultant and speaker on trends in the workplace and a leadership and generations expert. Her research on generations led her to write a book, “101 Ways to Make Generations X, Y, and Zoomers Happy at Work”. Other books include, The Control Freak Revolution , 50 Ways to Lead & Love It ,Say What You Mean – Mean What You Say For more information on Cheryl and her books and services, her website is cherylcran.com. A sought after expert on workplace trends, Cheryl has been a guest commentator on Fox’s The Mike and Juliet Show and The Fanny Kiefer Show. She has been interviewed and written articles for a wide range of publications including Forbes Magazine, Entrepreneur Magazine, Profit Magazine, Reader’s Digest, Metro NY, The Globe, Selling Power, and many more.
Listen to the April 18th show, 12 noon to 1pm live or listen to the podcast recording. Call in with your questions: 248 545 7685.
The Key to Success is Knowing Who You Are
When you look in the mirror, who is looking back at you? I’m not talking about your appearance. I’m talking about who you really are. Do you know? 
Many of us are distracted by external factors that we let define us; our job, our looks. We allow these things to become our identity and the way we present ourselves to the world. Sometimes we hide behind them so we don’t have to really do the work to discover our essence.
But, to get outside results, you need to do the inside work. (I just wrote that down from a podcast I listened to yesterday by Suzanne Evans.) It’s so true!
Last week the New York Times published an interview with Charlotte Beers, former CEO and Chairwoman of Ogilvy and Mather Worldwide. In this article, The Best Scorecard Is The One You Keep For Yourself, Charlotte talks about the importance of doing a self-assessment and soliciting feedback from trusted colleagues to help you discover who you are. Sometimes painful, the feedback she received helped her become a better manager and leader.
Charlotte says, “it’s a mistake to just let the quality of our work speak for itself because sooner or later the quality of your relationships will prevail over the work.”
Charlotte talks about moments of crisis. “ When those moments come along and you need to draw on resources that are internal and your personal belief system, if you don’t know what they are, others will tell you what they are.”
Self-knowledge is so obvious-sounding that I hate to use it like that, but in fact you can be masterful at doing the work and you can be good in team relationships, but one day you will be called on to have difficult, complex relationships and a different part of you has to be used for that.
Do you know what your internal resources are? Can you see beyond your reflection in the mirror to connect with your core essence?
This is the stuff that makes you unique; your unique fingerprint. This is the stuff you call on to be successful and here’s the KEY: When you know this, you can not only draw from this resource to be successful, but you can let people know who you really are and what differentiates you from others who may hold the same position or sell similar products and services.
Charlotte’s new book is I’d Rather Be in Charge and I am thrilled that she will be on my new radio show June 13th. You will be able to call in live with your questions for Charlotte! Stay tuned for more details.
If you are interested in taking this journey of self-discovery for yourself so that you can better position yourself for success, please sign up for my next four week GPS Your Career Coaching Group or come to the live full day workshop in Boston, May 5th, GPS Your Way to Success Boot Camp.
-
20 Minutes For $20
20 Minutes of Interviewing Coaching For Only $20...
Present yourself with confidence!
