Don’t think of your career as a ladder. Think of it as a jungle gym. If you think of it as a ladder, you won’t have the peripheral vision to enable you to see the lateral opportunities and especially today when you don’t know what the hot job is tomorrow. You’ve got to keep yourself open and you’ve got to swing to the opportunities that come along.

Sellers further expanded on this by saying that many of Fortune’s Most Powerful Women have, in fact, made lateral moves and even downward moves in order to broaden their experience and it has paid off for them in the long run.

The message here is that if you are ONLY looking up the ladder at the next rung, you could very well miss some opportunities that can have tremendous benefit to advancing your career.

Focus is great as long as it doesn’t become tunnel vision and blind you to what else is out there for you.

Corporate headquarters was on Madison Avenue in New York City. We had just completed another three day meeting when I was summoned into the office of our SVP of Marketing. “I need to speak with you,”  she said. You need to change the way you dress. It is not appropriate.”

“What?” I replied. I had a closet full of Calvin Klein and Armani suits. “What do you mean inappropriate? I asked.

“You show too much cleavage and it’s not appropriate as an executive of this company.”

Well, others might have responded sheepishly that they would certainly address the issue.I just looked at her in disbelief. What was she saying? My attire was certainly not offensive. (Maybe in retrospect , it was to HER.) My suits were all attractive and professional. I had enough self-confidence to dismiss this conversation as “her issue”. Was she jealous? Was she insinuating that I was successful because I was using my sexuality? Not MY issue. I never changed one item of clothing to please her. I continued to dress to please myself and had a terrific few years at that company.

Fast forward a few years and I am at the pinnacle of my career. I am in Chicago at the corporate headquarters of a Fortune 500 company interviewing for CEO of one of their heathcare companies. I am wearing my power red suit. This was my final interview in a long drawn out interview process and I wanted to “close the deal”. A woman approached me as I was waiting for my interview and whispered, “Women don’t wear red here. It’s not appropriate.” What? Are we back with Nathaniel Hawthorne feeling the shame of the Scarlett Letter? Apparently so.

Well, I got the job despite the red suit but it has never ceased to amaze me how as women we are always walking a fine line when it comes to professional image and attire.

If we wear pants, we are choosing a more masculine appearance. Is this what is takes in some corporate cultures to succeed?

If we wear attractive feminine clothing, we are often called on the carpet for using our sexuality to advance our careers.

Should we wear high heels or not? Pants or skirts? Should our hemline be above or below the knee?

As women, have we made any progress in this area? Can’t we just be our authentic selves and wear what feels professional and comfortable?  After all, wasn’t Hilary Clinton chastised for wearing pant suits during the campaign? Was she judged on her attire more than her talent? And what does all the criticism of Michelle Obama’s wardrobe have to do with all her accomplishments?

Thank goodness for dress down days! Then we all get to wear jeans, no questions asked.

It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. ~ from the television show The Golden Girls

This post today is to honor all my clients, colleagues, friends, and family who are mothers. Words can barely express my admiration for all the wonderful talented women that I have the good fortune of knowing through business and pleasure.

Everyday, I speak with women who are balancing their roles as mother, wife, and business woman. They accomplish this with elegance and grace. Their daily routine of running a household, running a business, and running around to baseball practice and games, piano lessons, hockey, girl scouts, dance lessons etc. seems effortless. They are on auto pilot most of the time and manage to make it through their busy schedules and keep everyone happy. It is truly amazing to see. How do we as mothers manage to focus on our profession and family and do everything so well?

Of course, we are not perfect though we try so hard to achieve perfection. We expend a lot of energy attempting to keep the many different balls in the air and hope that nothing drops. Most of the time, we are as near to perfection as is humanly possible. Super heroines!

Each role that we take on as women whether it’s motherhood or career or relationship partner and spouse is a really a full time job and we are constantly under pressure (though most of it self-directed) to perform all these roles perfectly (or at least to the best of our abilities). We rarely let any one down.

So let’s take the time today to honor our mothers and also to acknowledge OURSELVES  as mothers and give OURSELVES credit for being the amazing women that we are!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Bonnie

“Boost Your Marketing and Visibility with Internet Radio”
Learn the strategies for hosting your own internet radio show for maximum visibility and revenue
Hosted by Coach Deb Bailey, host of “Women Entrepreneurs-The Secrets of Success” internet radio show
Where: on the phone
Date: Wed. April 22
Time: 08:00 PM to 09:00 PM eastern
Cost: $10
Sign up: http://www.dbaileycoach.com/teleclass_radioshow.html
Teleclass will include:
- Where to promote your shows and how to get on iTunes
- How to find high-profile guests
- What platforms to use to host your show
- How to make your show come across as a “professional” broadcast
- What business models will generate revenue from your show

There are many techniques that people use to re-frame the negative into positive affirmations and with consistent practice, these methods help us to create the positive life we desire.

Controlling our negative thoughts is not an easy task. One method I suggest is the use of language. When we use positive powerful words, these words can affect our subconscious mind and help to reprogram  our negative beliefs. Word choices such as “I will” instead of “I’ll try” for instance make a powerful statement of intent.

Positive self talk is an important vehicle to building self-esteem and self-confidence. Often we are more comfortable dismissing praise and putting ourselves down.  What do these negative statements do to our self-esteem? Why not practice positive self-talk instead?

Follow this routine for 30 days and I guarantee that you will begin to see the difference in your self-confidence.

1. Begin with journaling. Make daily entries about your accomplishments, big and small.
2. Answer these questions. “What makes me unique?”. “What are my strengths?”  “How have these strengths helped me in the past or in my current job?”
3. Review your journal entries of recent accomplishments to connect with your talent and value.  What can you truly brag about? What do these successes say about you?
4. Create a personal “bragging” statement. Be authentic and positive. Print out the statement and keep it visible so that you can refer to it often. Recite it out loud daily. “This is me.” “This is what makes me special.”

Positive self-talk is an important component to successful self-promotion.

Practice the above mentioned routine daily for 30 days and see the difference it will make in your self-esteem and self-confidence.

May Group Teleclass: The Power of Positive Self-Talk

In this fun and interactive group class series you will:

• Explore your limiting beliefs around positive self-talk. What holds you back?
• Connect with your own value and talent. What makes you unique?
• Practice positive self-talk to build self-esteem and self-confidence. It really works!

Classes will be held consecutive Tuesday evenings 7-8pm EDT starting May 5th.

$125 for three one hour sessions. Workbook included.

Register online: http://womenssuccesscoaching.com/services/group-coaching

]]> http://womenssuccesscoaching.com/2009/04/the-power-of-positive-self-talk/feed/ 1 http://womenssuccesscoaching.com/2009/02/women-on-business-roundtable/ http://womenssuccesscoaching.com/2009/02/women-on-business-roundtable/#comments Thu, 19 Feb 2009 15:18:22 +0000 Bonnie Marcus http://womenssuccesscoaching.com/?p=643 Here is a great opportunity for women business owners to get expert advice. This announcement was posted today on Women on Business.

I’m very happy to announce the new Women On Business Roundtable, which will provide a great opportunity for business women to increase their online profiles, access expert advice and guidance, and encourage business growth.

The team of Women On Business authors (including myself), who are all experts in various fields such as marketing, coaching, finance, management, and technology, are launching a “roundtable” discussion to focus on our readers.

Here is how it works:

1.  Women On Business readers are asked to submit a profile of their companies and list any specific issues they might be having with their business (submission instructions are included at the end of this post).  Are you wondering how to market your business on the social web, having trouble with an employee, struggling during the economic downturn?  Submit your profile and issues in order to be considered as the subject for the Women On Business Roundtable discussion.

2.  Each month, one profile will be chosen to be featured on Women On Business as the subject of the Women On Business Roundtable discussion.

3.  The Women On Business writing team, using our collective brainpower and experience — a combined 150+ years worth! — will provide targeted analysis, valuable advice, and next steps to grow the business and meet the challenges it faces.

4.  Women On Business readers are also encouraged to join the conversation and offer their own experiences and expertise.  We look forward to tapping into the advice of our team of experts and into the minds and hearts of our readers to help our participants.

5. Throughout the month, the goal is for the conversation to continue and grow, and for the profiled business woman to ask additional questions, clarify suggestions and end up with actionable, useful advice and guidance, which should benefit many other readers as well.

Please join us! It’s a great way to gain some hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of consulting from a group with deep knowledge in their respective fields — for free!

Submit a one-page description of your business, and three issues you’d like the team to address here, and we’ll choose each month from the available submissions.  You can send an email directly to susan[AT]womenonbusiness.com (replacing the [AT] with @) or use the contact form.  Note that anonymous submissions will be accepted but identifiable business submissions will be given highest priority.

Please spread the word – email, Digg, Stumble, Tweet and so on!  Let’s get the conversation going and start helping each other!

Why do we feel the need to deflect the praise, apologize for our success, and even offer self-deprecating remarks about ourselves in response to a compliment? Obviously, the recognition makes us very uncomfortable. Why is that? Do we feel we are not worth it?

When someone notices our good work we need to stand up and take the credit. How often do we slip into the habit of giving the credit to others and not wholeheartedly accepting a compliment?

Why should it be embarrassing or uncomfortable to be recognized for our hard work and effort? Our upbringing taught us to be humble and to wait to be noticed, yet taking the back seat has never gotten anyone to the C-suite. Taking the back seat has rarely helped anyone get promoted.

Women are definitely more troubled with accepting praise. We need to get better at stepping into the spotlight at work and increase both our visibility and credibility in order to advance our careers.

It sounds so simple. Just look someone in the eye and say, “Thank you. I appreciate the fact that you noticed how hard I worked on that project. It was a challenge and it ended up being very successful.”

Step up to the plate and welcome the applause. Step into the spotlight graciously and it will have a very positive effect on your career. Know that you are worthy of all the recognition that is bestowed on you for your accomplishments.

Sign up now for the March Teleclass  “Grow Your Business. No Cold Calls Necessary”.

Learn how to dramatically build your business through your network contacts in this interactive group teleclass.  Create your own sales plan. Workbooks included.

This class is perfect  for new entrepreneurs and business owners to get a jump start on building their business!

Four one hour sessions Tuesday nights from 7-8 pm EST beginning March 3rd.

Participants call into toll-free bridge line for each session.

Fee $199. Register by February 28 for a 25% discount.

Register @ www.womenssuccesscoaching.com/services/group-coaching

Workaholism is a compulsiveness to work.

Workaholism is an obsessive need to work.

Now, I look at these two definitions and try to be as objective as anyone can be about themselves (that’s a challenge) and weigh whether or not I fall into the dreaded “workaholic” category. I will admit that I am compulsive about work, therefore, the first definition fits. However, I don’t feel an obsessive need to work, just for the sake of working.

My question is this. When you are an entrepreneur or trying to advance your career is it necessary to be a workaholic to be successful?

As an entrepreneur, my  passion and drive propels me to work and build my business. Most of the time, it does not even feel like work. I am in a creative zone and the adrenaline takes over. Hours go by and I actually lose track of time. I am very fortunate that my work is stimulating and aligned with my passion to assist professional women to be successful. It is true that I end up working many extra hours each week, but it doesn’t feel obsessive to me. The primary force behind the long hours is my love for my business.

There is nothing wrong in having the drive to succeed. One would be foolish to think that you can start a business or advance your career without putting in much time and effort. Successful careers and businesses don’t happen by chance. The danger is perhaps in consistently choosing work over other options such as family, friends, exercise, recreational activities. It is easy to lose track of how important it is to balance your life. In fact, stepping away from work every so often can also contribute to your success. The break allows you to be even more creative and productive and gives you a new perspective on your business and career path.

Here is my answer to the above question on whether you need to be a workaholic to be successful. Hard work is unquestionably an important factor in success. Yes, you need to work hard and work smart to be successful. Smart working habits that include time well spent in other activities that nourish your body and soul are other important components for a successful life and career. When you recognize that you are consistently choosing work over everything else in your life, beware. An obsession with work can be as dysfunctional as other types of addiction and just as unhealthy.

I am interested in hearing your comments. How much time do you feel you need to devote to work to be successful?

Check out Women’s Success Coaching monthly teleclasses and register online.

http://womenssuccesscoaching.com/services/group-coaching/

February: Selling Yourself and Your Services. How to Feel Comfortable with Self-Promotion

March: Grow Your Business. No Cold Calls Necessary.

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish—-Ovid

What great wisdom from a Roman poet. But how often are we willing to take risks and take chances? It’s pretty scary, right?

Have you thought about what your business would look like if you had NO fear of failure and rejection? Fear is such a powerful obstacle for most of us and the reality is that this fear constantly holds us back from success.

In theory, the solution seems so simple. Just put your fears aside and march gallantly out into the world with your message.  We all know that it is simply not that simple. Many of us are terrified. If we all had the ability to overcome our fears, success would be achievable for everyone who seeks it.

We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures….Take a risk a day-one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.—Susan Jeffers.

I love this quote because the goal of completely eliminating all our fears is daunting. Why not make fear a friend who accompanies us through life but never holds us back? It’s OK to acknowledge that you are frightened, but when you let fear control the accelerator, it is very difficult to move forward.

What are some of your fears about promoting yourself and your business or your current job position?

• fear of rejection
• fear of making a fool of yourself
• fear that someone will find out you’re really not that good
• perfectionism
• fear that people won’t like you
• fear of success

Let’s recognize that we all have some of these fears and let’s recognize  that these fears are preventing us from getting out there and promoting ourselves effectively.

What would your business look like if you were willing to make fear your companion and not your gatekeeper?

Can you take one small risk each day to promote yourself?

What is the worst thing that can happen? You might just catch that fish!!!

Check out my February Group Teleclass on Self-Promotion.

Sell Yourself and Your Services: How to Feel Comfortable with Self Promotion.

http://www.womenssuccesscoaching.com/services/group-coaching/

4 one hour sessions starting Tuesday, February 3rd at 7-8pm EST.