Preparing for 2012
It’s a new year and another opportunity to celebrate! As the holiday season and 2011 come to a close, we welcome 2012 with much fanfare. Parties, fireworks, horn blowing and champagne mark the beginning of another year.
It’s also a great time for reflection. What was special about this past year? What was disappointing? We all have memories that we cherish from 2011 and memories that perhaps make us sad, angry, or dissatisfied.
I was thinking this morning that in preparation for 2012 I would like to focus on the positive things that happened this past year and bring that positive energy to the start of this next year. How to do that?
How about packing an imaginary suitcase for your journey through 2012? Let’s take out a BIG suitcase and pack all the positive and wonderful things we want to bring with us in to the new year. As we reflect back on the past year, we can consciously leave behind whatever we think is not serving us in a positive supportive manner. (For instance, I’d like to leave behind the 5 pounds I gained over Christmas!)
Here are some suggestions:
- First and most importantly, pack all your accomplishments from this past year. Write a list of every success no matter how small and put it in the suitcase along with a large container of pride for your achievements. This will help you continue your success in 2012.
- What memories from this past year bring a smile to your face? Is it something that your children did? A new grandchild? A special time with family and friends? Make room in your suitcase for this! We certainly want to bring smiles and positive feelings into the new year.
- Another important thing to pack is our gratitude for living another year in good health and having family and friends around us for love and support. Pack the gratitude for everything that you have to offer; your unique talent, your skills, your experience, your clients, your colleagues.
- Last but not least, I think we need to leave some room for the opportunities that 2012 will bring to all of us. We need to have enough room in our suitcase so that these opportunities will not only present themselves but become reality.
What will you pack for your journey into 2012 and what do you want to leave behind?
Happy New Year and best wishes for a healthy and prosperous 2012!
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the fairest of them all? Who’s the smartest? Who’s the most successful?
If you’re like most women I know, you will look at your reflection in the mirror and knock yourself down, and look for ways to berate yourself.
Why is this so? In a New York Times article last week, author Stuart Bradford quotes Dr. Kristin Neff, an associate professor of human development at University of Texas at Austin.
I found that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.
According to the author, research suggests “that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health.”
Do we ever give ourselves a break though? We set high standards for ourselves. Sometimes we can’t possibly meet these standards. Often our goals and expectations are unrealistic. That doesn’t stop us, however, from beating ourselves up when we fall short of where we think we should be.
When we don’t have confidence, we look to others for validation. We look to our partner to complete us. We measure our success by our wealth. But at the end of the day, there is really no one who can give us this confidence but ourselves. It needs to come from within us, not from any image in a mirror.
If we accept the fact that self-compassion is better for our overall health and well being, how do we get there? It is, after all, very difficult to unlearn years of behavior.
The first step in any personal development work is to be aware that you need to boost your self-compassion and confidence. Once you identify this is an area that you need to address, you can begin to look for methods that work for you. Dr. Neff recommends that we consciously work to develop a habit of self-compassion. She suggests positive affirmations, meditation, writing a letter of support. I would add keeping a journal of your successes.
It takes time and effort to change behavior and belief systems, but the next time you look in the mirror, try to see yourself as others see you. Be gentle with yourself. Recite your positive affirmations to your reflection and SMILE.
Are You in Career Quicksand?
Does this describe you?
- Desperately trying to keep your job or business from swallowing you up?
- Totally focused on completing all your daily tasks but never getting through your to do list?
- Working nights and weekends to catch up?
- Stressed? Exhausted?
- Do you find the more you struggle to keep on top of things, the more you sink into the abyss?
I call this career quicksand. Why? Because when you are in this situation with your business or career, you are stuck and I mean really stuck! The consequences of this are that you are not in the position or frame of mind to move your business or career forward. When you are in career quicksand, you cannot think clearly or objectively. As long as you are totally focused on daily tasks, you do not have the time or energy to be creative. All your energy is expended on daily survival.
What would it take for you to extricate yourself from this trap and begin to think more strategically?
Here are some tips to pull yourself out of the quicksand:
- At least once a day, take some time to do something totally different from work; anything that will clear you mind. Ideally, scheduling even a few short breaks (10 minutes) during the day helps to keep up your energy and stimulate your creativity.
- Work with a coach or mentor. This partnership can give you a new perspective on your business and career. The potential to see things more objectively offers a great opportunity to get “unstuck”.
- Start an Affinity Group at work. Gather a group of like-minded women together on a regular basis to discuss and brainstorm on work place challenges and opportunities.
- Schedule regular networking meetings (lunch, dinner, coffee) with peers outside of your own company. It’s amazing what wisdom is available from other business owners or women in similar corporate positions.
- Keep your mind open to new approaches through a variety of resources. There are many insightful and valuable books on business management and leadership. (Let me know if you would like some suggestions). There are also many worthwhile online resources.
The first step to getting “unstuck” is to realize that you ARE stuck and that the consequences of this are detrimental to the growth of your business and career. You simply can’t move forward if all of your energy is focused on daily tasks and survival.
Look for ways to pull yourself out of the quicksand and think strategically about where you want to go and how best to get there.
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Life Lessons Learned from Trail Running
The heat and humidity of this summer pushed me from my normal running routine on the road into the cool shade of the woods. Trail running is a new experience for me and I realized today as I navigated around the roots and rocks, streams and mud, that trail running can be a metaphor for how we live our lives and if we pay close attention, there are lessons to be learned here in the dark solitude of the woods.
Here are some of my thoughts:
- How comfortable are you being lost?
Yesterday I ventured down a new path deep into the woods and realized after running 45 minutes that I was totally lost.
Do you trust your instincts to bring you back on track with your life when you feel lost?
Is it OK to feel somewhat lost and without a compass?
Do you continue to follow the path even though you are lost with the hope that it will lead you someplace new and exciting or do you turn around and retrace your steps and stay in your comfort zone?
2. How willing are you to stumble and fall?
Today I tripped 5 times. Navigating around the roots and rocks is a challenge especially for a novice like myself.
Do you always take the safe path?
Do you allow yourself to stumble at times?
Do you forgive yourself if you fall; pick yourself up and continue on your path with a renewed energy?
3. How do you face obvious challenges?
When the path I’ve chosen becomes a steep hill with rough terrain, I have a choice. I can stand at the bottom of the hill and strategize how best to make it to the top. I can run directly up the hill as fast as I can to achieve my goal or I can choose a circuitous route that carefully takes me around the obstacles, knowing that it will take a little more time to reach the summit. OR, I can choose different approaches at different times under different circumstances.
What do you do?
4. What do you do when you are suddenly faced with unanticipated challenges?
I thought the trail I chose to run was a good one but suddenly I was faced with a path that was barely passable.
What do you do?
Do you push yourself forward regardless of obstacles?
Do you return to your comfort zone and retreat?
How do you handle life’s surprise challenges?
And finally, an important question:
5. Is it possible to stay focused on the task at hand and still be present in the overall experience?
I thoroughly enjoy the experience of trail running, feeling the sweet fresh air on my face, hearing the sounds of nature, the peaceful solitude of it all. I want to be intimate with the experience yet I also know that if I lose my focus for a second, I can easily trip and injure myself.
Is it possible to do both?
Is it possible to navigate our own lives with a determined focus and goal and also be intimately present in each daily experience?
I welcome your thoughts and comments.
Taking a Break
Many of us are just coming off the holiday season refreshed because we have had some time off from work and time to be with our family and friends. Although the holidays can be an exhausting whirlwind of activity, the break from our normal daily routine is a good thing. Often this short break gives us a new perspective on our jobs, our relationships, and our lives, and we are able to then approach 2009 with gusto and sometimes a new direction.
Taking a break from our normal routine is important to re-fuel our passion and purpose in life. The holidays create a natural break, but how many of us recognize when we need to take a break other times in our lives? The drive to succeed can wear us down over time and giving ourselves permission to take some time to reflect and rejuvenate can be just what the doctor ordered.
The advantages of taking some time for ourselves are many.
- We nurture ourselves by catching up on sleep, eating well, and exercising. The importance of a good sound sleep cannot be over emphasized for our health and well-being. When we get off the merry-go-round of life for a while, we are once again in touch with our physical being and more mindful of how we fuel our bodies. It’s a physical tune up.
- We spend time meditating, reflecting, relaxing, and nurturing our mental and emotional health. Writing in a journal, creating a gratitude list, morning pages are all excellent ways to re-connect with your spiritual side and your creativity. Take long walks and re-connect with nature. Feel your presence in the universe.
- For those of us who are Type “A” personalities, just “being” gives us time to think about what direction we are taking in our lives and if, perhaps, we need to alter our focus and our path. Often, we are so focused on the goal, we can’t see the forest for the trees. This is a great time to re-think where we are headed with our businesses and our careers. Taking a break brings great clarity. If we re-connect with our original intentions, we have more energy to move forward. If we create a new path and new intentions, we also come away with renewed energy and a fresh start.
Of course, in the perfect world, we would do all of these activities to
nurture ourselves everyday. But the reality is that many of us do not
routinely do this and we simply need to take a break to catch up with
ourselves every so often.
How do you know when you need to take a break?
- You are mentally and physically exhausted. Maybe you are physically out of shape and gaining weight, getting sick too often.
- You don’t have your normal energy and passion for your job and your business.
- You are stuck or blocked in some way from moving forward in your business and your life.
- You are feeling unusually down about yourself and are looking for a new direction.
When you recognize the need to take a break, give yourself permission to do so. Hop off the merry-go-round for a quick tune up and you’ll emerge refreshed, energized, and ready to take on the challenges that life has to offer with a renewed purpose.
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