I’m Doing the Best I Can Do Today
It’s absolutely impossible to be perfect. I think on some level we all know this is true. So I think it’s very interesting that many of us live our lives pursuing perfection.
Think about it. How much of your own life is spent trying to be perfect? How much emotional energy do you invest in perfectionism even though you realize it’s not possible to achieve? And, what affect does all this effort have on your life and career? Do you really think that trying to be perfect helps your career?
Perfectionism can, in fact, have a negative impact on your performance at work. If you are setting unrealistic goals for yourself, you are also more likely to have unrealistic expectations for your staff. You are less likely to be approachable and even like able, and of course, you are always under stress which can filter down to others in the workplace.
Here are some suggestions for addressing your perfectionism.
- Acknowledge that this is YOUR stuff.
No one else truly expects you to never make mistakes or be right 100% of the time. We’re not robots after all. (And even robots have technical problems sometimes.)
- Be Authentic
When we pretend to be perfect, we are hiding ourselves from others. Take the pressure off yourself to have all the answers all the time. Admitting that you don’t have the answers can often lead to extremely valuable brainstorming sessions at work. Engaging your team and asking for their opinions often helps them to become more invested in the project or mission. They have increased respect and affection for you. After all, how approachable is someone who comes across as a know-it-all?
- Be Willing to Make Mistakes
Perfectionists tend to avoid situations where they may fail, but making mistakes is important to our personal and professional development. Think about some of the valuable lessons you have learned from your past mistakes. When you are open to making mistakes, you are open to more challenges and opportunities as well.
- Work Hard, but Don’t Drive Yourself Crazy
Be realistic about your goals. Acknowledge when you’ve done the best you can. Sometimes unforeseen circumstances affect your performance, require you to move deadlines. That’s OK. Just do the best you can everyday and recognize when you need to adjust your expectations.
When you rid yourself of the pressure to be perfect, you will not only be more like able, more open to learning new things, but also healthier. The pursuit of perfection is extremely stressful and frustrating.
Try this as your new daily mantra, “I’m doing the best I can do today.”
Our Girlfriends Keep Us Healthy
This article was emailed to me by a friend this week and apparently it has circulated around the internet. I was unable to find the source, but I am passing it along regardless because I think the message is important. I would love to know your thoughts on the subject.
In a class given at Stanford, the last lecture was on the mind-body connection–the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.
Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin–a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings?–rarely. Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.
There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged–not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. Sooooo, let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. It’s very good for our health.
What are your thoughts? Do your girlfriends keep you healthy?
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