Wisdom from Seth Godin
Seth Godin has a new book out called Linchpin in which he talks about our “lizard brain”, that part of our brain that holds all our fears and limiting beliefs. The Lizard brain keeps us from doing our most creative work and often signals us to stay in our comfort zone and not take risks.
This audio is a 45 minute presentation that Seth did in New York last week. He talks about how these fears sabotage us.
I really love the story he tells about an employee he had in his company years ago who never failed at anything he did. He was his best employee, but Seth spoke with him and said if you don’t fail at something soon, you’re fired! Why? Because we all need to stretch and take risks to truly be creative and successful and distinguish ourselves from others.
Listen to the wisdom and let me know what you think. How do you tame your lizard brain?
The Benefits of Assertive Communication
Assertive communication is speaking up appropriately for oneself while considering the needs, wants, and rights of others. The verbal characteristics of assertive communication are clear, direct, and honest statements of feelings and the use of “I” statements. We feel good about ourselves when we communicate assertively, but also, we must feel self-confident and good about ourselves to adopt this style.
Often a lack of self-confidence and limiting beliefs around being assertive get in our way and hold us back from this direct approach. When we choose other styles of communication (passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive), the impact of our message can be diluted or perhaps even misunderstood.
Assertiveness teaches us:
- The clearest most productive and effective way to communicate is honestly and openly.
- It is OK to be powerful (in control of my life) and self-validating (a friend to myself).
- When I act assertively, others can relate to me assertively (open, honestly).
- Listening and expressing myself are equally important
- Assertive communication is based on clear information and not assumptions
What is your communicate style? Can you assert yourself and communicate in a direct manner? Assertive communication is an excellent way to own your personal power and create the credibility that you deserve in the workplace.
What Does Your Body Language Say About You?
Did you know that it takes only four minutes to make a first impression and that body language accounts for 55% of that impression; 38% from tone of voice; the remaining 7% from our actual words? In other words, competence is only one factor in career mobility. Those women who are competent AND look and sound like a professional are the ones most likely to be successful.
Many of us are unaware that our body language sends important non-verbal messages and that other people process these messages on some level even if they are processing them subconsciously.
The lessons we learn from our childhood about how girls should behave (be polite, be humble etc) often translate into the way we present ourselves professionally.
Here are some common mistakes women make:
- Crossing your legs. Did you know this is a sign of resistance?
- Folding your arms in front of you. Are you aware that this sends a message of insecurity and defensiveness?
- Smiling inappropriately. This can send a message that you are not serious.
- Sitting in meetings with your arms under the table. Observe men at meetings. Confident men rest their elbows and hands on the table and lean forward.
- Tilting your head in conversation can soften your message and can also be interpreted as a lack of commitment in what you’re saying.
- No eye contact. This is a sign you are uncomfortable or unsure of yourself.
The overall lesson here is that we need to be aware how we present ourselves as professionals. We may be unconsciously sending cues that are sabotaging our career efforts. While we may be extremely competent and excel at our job, our body language may be protraying us as someone entirely different.
Re-discover Your Inner Child
Whenever I hear people talk about re-discovering their inner child, I have noticed more often than not that it’s about connecting with the innocence and joy of childhood. Usually the quest to re-discover our inner child is focused on incorporating more playfulness and happiness in our lives. It’s a call to “lighten up”. And boy, do we most of us need this!
I’m a business coach and I help women achieve their professional and personal goals. Setting intentions, creating action plans are all part of my coaching work. But I’ve noticed more and more lately, that the more we push to accomplish our goals, the less we accomplish unless we incorporate joy in our lives as well. Quite simply, we need to “lighten up”.
Is it OK then to set our intentions, create goals and then just let them go? No, of course not. We should do the daily work, take the necessary steps toward reaching our goals. But as we perform the tasks, keep in mind that plodding through our work each day is not the sum total of our existence. We take ourselves way too seriously. Finding ways to connect with your inner child, to incorporate joy in your life is another important part of any daily plan.
Set your intentions and visualize your success every day. If you are someone who requires structure, then set aside time each day to do an activity that brings you joy, that will give you some distance from your work. I find that sometimes these foster our most creative moments.
Think about moments in your early childhood when you experienced the true bliss of life. What were you doing? What did that feel like? How can you re-create that feeling?
It’s that feeling of joy that fuels our life energy and our success. The best path to success still includes planning and hard work, but what fuels our continual determination and productivity? What keeps us motivated and moving forward?
Connect with your inner child and re-discover that joy and you will reach your goals faster. It will provide the energy to move you forward in whatever direction you choose.
How do you bring joy into your life? I would love to hear from you.
Movin’ on Up
In 1986, an article in The Wall Street Journal by Carol Hymowitz and Timothy Schellhardt first introduced the term Glass Ceiling. The illustration that accompanied the article showed a woman in a business suit pushing up against a glass barrier. After that article, the term Glass Ceiling caught on quickly as the metaphor for an impenetrable blockade that women face when seeking leadership positions that have previously been occupied by men.
Since then, there has been considerable progress in the number of women in managerial roles, but little progress in executive leadership. Catalysts’ research in 2005 found that women occupy 16 percent of executive positions in Fortune 500 companies, up from 9 percent ten years earlier.
The reasons for the lack of more significant progress are varied and this remains a complicated issue that has been and continues to be the subject of much discussion. The term Glass Ceiling is no longer an accurate descriptor as many women have successfully risen to the top; have shattered the barrier and attained executive and board level positions in organizations.
I believe there is much to learn from the women who have achieved executive status. Their stories need to be evaluated not only on their unique skill sets, but also the cultural environment of their company at the time of their promotion or appointment. Every success story has a special lesson.
Now and again, there is a prominent success story that grabs our attention and this week it was the appointment of Diane Sawyer as the second woman solo-anchor of a network evening news broadcast. There will now be two women solo-anchors (Katie Couric being the first) on the networks’ flagship programs.
Connie Chung is quoted as saying:
This signifies that the age of dinosaur behavior in the news industry is over. The network-news flagship program has been the last vestige of the dark ages. The anchor has always been traditionally a male – a white male.
So yes. There is progress. Women are reaching top positions. When we see the progress, we need to not only celebrate each success, but we should also seek to learn what we can about each woman’s journey to help us in our own quest to climb the ladder.
Give Yourself a Pep Talk
Do you ever wonder how elite athletes like Tiger Woods or Roger Federer stay focused; how they manage to maintain their peak performance? I marvel at their ability to recover after a bad shot or a lost match; their resilience and ability to let go and forget their poor performance and come back with strength and fortitude.
How do they accomplish this? Well, almost all professional athletes work with coaches to re-program their thinking. Successful athletes think positively and use positive self-talk and affirmations to build their self esteem and confidence.
Athletes, like many of us, are subject to memories of previous events where they fell short in some fashion. These memories of past failures affect the present state of mind and cause us to believe that we will repeat the failure when presented with the same type of scenario. Sports coaches helps athletes to recall early images of success and focus on the positive to build basic confidence. They often assist athletes with creating positive self-talk and affirmations to counter the negative thoughts and feelings. This helps athletes to believe in themselves and stay focused on success.
We can use the same methodology to be successful. When you work on your own positive self-talk and affirmations stay focused on the immediate goals at hand and stay in the present. Recognize the negative thoughts when they occur and reprogram your internal dialogue to positive statements.
Give yourself a pep talk and you will achieve your goals. Focus on your previous successes and believe that you will win again.
Identify Your Web of Influence
Years ago, I went through a training program on customer retention that emphasized the importance of identifying a web of influence within a client account. The web of influence not only included the main contact or champion, but other individuals within the company that could “influence” your success. Having more than one contact is of the utmost importance to maintain stability and ongoing communication to retain the account and hopefully expand the current business. After all, what if your main contact leaves the company? Without more influential contacts in that organization, you are very vulnerable.
Of course, the same web of influence approach is vital for client acquisition as well. Early in any sales activity with prospects, identifying the key players and communicating consistently with all these individuals broadens your scope of influence and enhances your chances of landing the account.
Now let’s transition to the corporate world and the topic of career advancement. Identifying your own web of influence at work is key to your own success. What are your career goals? Who a re the major players in your organization that you need to be in front of consistently to advance your career?
Identify those key players and create your own personal sales plan for promoting yourself. In your plan, include action items that will create credibility and visibility with these individuals.
Carefully craft your message and practice the delivery of your message. What information do you want to communicate? How often? Like any other sales activity, your personal sales plan requires consistency and follow up.
Continue to look for opportunities to add to this internal network through special committees or projects.
The strength of your web of influence is determined by the individuals you select, how often your communicate, and the content of your message. Maintaining this web of influence is key to advancing your career.
The Female Advantage
I read a very interesting article recently in The Boston Globe called, “The Female Advantage. A New Reason for Businesses to Promote Women: It’s More Profitable”.
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/05/03/the_female_advantage/
The premise of the article is that companies with more female leadership in place at the Board and executive level are more profitable. From the article,
Measured as a percent of revenues, profits at Fortune 500 firms that most aggressively promoted women were 34 percent higher by industry means, a 2001 Pepperdine University study showed.
The call for women’s advancement in business has been primarily focused thus far on gender diversity and fairness. Equal representation. Equal pay. Now there is a new perspective to consider. There is a sound business reason to promote women. It is a proven advantage that companies with more female leadership have greater profits.
Why does the correlation exist between higher profits and female leadership representation? There are several theories presented in the article.
- women have a better understanding of the consumer market
- gender diversity leads to more vigorous discussions
- women have a different leadership style
- women are more risk adverse
Though I believe that all of the above factors contribute to the success of high performing companies, I also think that organizations that are sensitive to gender issues and actively support female managers in the pipeline are more likely to be high performing companies (true meritocracies) to begin with.
As the author states about these companies,
They’re picking the best and the brightest and letting them bloom.
What are your thoughts on this topic?
Why do you think that companies with more female leadership are more profitable?
Please send me your comments.
8 Tips to Prepare for Your Performance Review
Performance reviews are a great opportunity to highlight your accomplishments and talk about your contribution to the organization. Always be prepared. The worst thing you can do is to walk into a performance review cold.
Here are some simple tips to set the stage for a great review that showcases your talent and value.
- Outline your progress over the last year. If you have been journaling about your accomplishments, you have already started an ongoing performance review. This journal gives you the hard data you need to show what you have done. Start a journal NOW, in preparation for your review.
- Don’t let your manager control the entire review and do all the talking. Make sure that you are prepared to tell your boss what you want him/her to hear. When you are prepared, you can present yourself in the most positive manner.
- Think of your review as an opportunity to speak about your value to the company and your unique talent.
- Create a conversational message that summarizes all your accomplishments and gives specific examples.
- Graciously accept compliments. Do NOT deflect any praise that comes your way. Do NOT put yourself down. Present yourself as a valuable person who deserves the credit for the good work you’ve done.
- Don’t be defensive if some negative comments come up. Just acknowledge and focus on your strengths.
- Practice your message beforehand.
- Smile. This is your opportunity to shine.
Need practice with your positive self-talk? Check out the Friday morning breakfast brag club or enroll now in the May teleclass.
The Power of Positive Self-Talk
In the fun interactive group class you will:
- Explore your limiting beliefs around positive self-talk
- Connect with your value and talent
- Practice positive self-talk to build your self-esteem.
3 one hour sessions consecutive Tuesday evenings 7-8pm EDT
May 5, May 12, May 19th
$125. Register before 4/30 for $99
May Group Teleclass
How Many Hats Can a Woman Wear in One Day?
No, this isn’t a riddle! We wear so many hats during the course of one day that it’s quite remarkable. How do we do it so effortlessly? Have you ever thought about all the different roles you play? There are probably way too many to mention in one blog post, however, since my intention is to give all women a much needed pat on the back and recognition for all they accomplish, I am going to give this a try.
Early Morning
- Housekeeper
- Caterer/short order cook
- Drill Sargent
- Chauffeur
- Event Planner
- Commuter
- Athlete (did you get your gym time in?)
Work
- Correspondent
- Visionary
- Leader
- Manager
- Customer Service Representative
- Computer whiz
- Team Player
- Mentor/coach
- Task Master
- Negotiator
- Marketing Director
- Salesperson
- Bookkeeper
- HR Director
- Peacekeeper
- Researcher
- Worker Bee
- Cheerleader
- Speaker/Presenter
- Humorist
- Nurse
- Therapist
Evening
- All of early morning activities again
- Disciplinarian
- Personal Shopper
- Laundress
- Librarian
- Sports Fan
- Teacher
- Activist/Community member
- Story teller
- Babysitter
- Entertainer
- Companion, lover, partner, mother, sister, daughter, friend
WHEW! It really is quite remarkable how many different hats we can wear during the course of one day and how we can switch those hats so effortlessly. We are FABULOUS!
I know this isn’t everything. What did I miss? I would love to hear your feedback and be able to add to the list!
Join the Friday Breakfast Brag Club (TGIF)
Share and Celebrate your weekly successes by calling in each Friday 8-8:30 am EDT and practice your positive self-talk. This is a FUN way to end your work week.
Just $29.99 per month for all the self-esteem boosting you can take!
http://womenssuccesscoaching.com/services/group-coaching
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Present yourself with confidence!
