A few months ago, I received a call from a woman looking for help to position herself for employment. She had been out of work for 18 months having a baby and was now ready to begin the process of finding a job. So I asked her what she did. There was a long pause and then she replied in a soft voice. “This is my problem. I can’t talk about myself at all, let alone articulate why someone should hire me.”

Wow! I thought. This was an extreme case of someone who had identified herself with her job and because she had been away from it for a while, she was lost. She was no longer connected to what she believed was her identity and value (her job).

Most of us spend more time at work than we do with our families and friends. We work long hours and our jobs consume a tremendous amount of our energy and focus. It’s understandable that we begin to “become” our jobs, and it’s a challenge to separate our identity and value from our work. That being said, we need to take the time to understand what value we bring to the job and how our value benefits the company and our clients if we want to be successful in moving our careers and businesses forward.

We are much more than our jobs. If all of you reading this had the exact same background and experience, the same position in the same company, you would still be unique and special because of the way you DO your work. Each of us brings something different to our work that defines us and sets us apart. Zeroing in on how you “deliver” the work is the first clue to identifying your unique value proposition and what differentiates you.

Charlotte Beers, former CEO of Olgivy and Mather, writes in her new book, I’d Rather Be In Charge, that it’s not about the work, but the way you deliver the work.

The way you deliver the work comes from an interior place. You know all about the exterior you; it’s right there on your resume. But your delivery is about the essence of who you become when you’re at work, your deepest, truest self sent out to play in the field of work.

Delivery means the way you get your work in front of the right people. It’s how you manage to get the work used properly and, drum roll please, ‘appreciated’.

Ask yourself this: How do you “deliver” the work? What is your contribution? This is your value and identity that will follow you to any job or any company because it’s not about the job, it’s YOU.

When you want to promote or position yourself for a job or attract new clients, remember this. Your value and how it benefits others is what people want to know about; not just what you do but how you do it.

Today we are going to hear a story that I hope will stimulate you to look inside yourself to discover what you can offer others. We are each here for a reason and we each have unique gifts to offer the world. As you listen to my guest, Jeanne Staples, today, think about what it is that you have to offer and how you can help others with your unique gifts and talent.

Featured Guest

Jeanne Staples has spent her entire professional career working in the arts. She is a full-time, professional artist who lives and works on the island of Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts, and is represented by galleries in Boston, New England and beyond. You can see firsthand the beautiful work she does on her website, www.jeannestaples.com.

She is also the Founder and Director of PeaceQuilts, a 501(c)(3) non-profit, humanitarian organization dedicated to relieving poverty in Haiti by establishing independent, self-managed and self-sustaining sewing cooperatives, and connecting them to international markets. This organization is best described in a book called Patience to Raise the Sun: Art Quilts from Haiti and their power to change women’s lives.

Listen to the May 16th show at 12 noon EDT or download the podcast.

Leading an organization presents many challenges in today’s business environment. There is an atmosphere of continual change and economic pressure to survive and to be on top of the curve in terms of marketing and delivering exceptional service. So how do senior executives lead successfully in this environment? On Wednesday’s show, May 2nd, I’m going to discuss the challenges facing executives in business today and what leaders and managers need to know to create a culture that embraces the flexibility required for today’s environment and supports inclusion and high performance.

Featured Guest

My guest is Susan Annunzio, CEO of the Center for High Performance in Chicago. Susan is a strategic advisor to CEOs of leading global companies on strategy attainment and business transformation. Susan partners with senior executives to increase their ability to simplify complex strategic decisions through enhanced collaboration and creativity. She is a globally recognized speaker and thought leader on shaping and maintaining high-performance business environments. She has a strong track record helping leaders maximize returns on strategic, financial and human-capital investments. A former Adjunct Professor of Management at the University of Chicago Booth Graduate School of Business, Susan still teaches the most popular Executive Education Program, High Performance Leadership. She is the author of Contagious Success (Portfolio, 2004), a dynamic management book that revealed a global standard for high performance. Contagious Success was voted Fast Company’s Readers’ Choice. selection in January 2005. Additionally, Susan authored two more prominent business books: Communicoding and Evolutionary Leadership. Susan has been a guest on numerous local and national television and radio news programs and has been quoted extensively in the business press, including The Wall Street Journal, CNBC, BBC, USA Today and Bloomberg.

Listen to the May 2nd show or download the podcast.

Our feelings about money can be a very complicated issue. Most of us want to make enough money to maintain our lifestyle and pay our bills. Some of us look at our income as validation of our success and continually strive to make more money. Many of us shy away from the subject of money and don’t want to embrace the fact that money can be a positive force in their lives.

Whatever your attitude about money is, it’s important to understand how it plays into your business and career success. In fact, your “money mindset” can help you be successful and live in abundance or it can continually sabotage your efforts to make a decent living.

I grew up in an upper middle class family in a wealthy suburb of New York City. We lived in a beautiful home, belonged to a country club, and my parents traveled all over the world. I didn’t lack any thing. I had dance lessons, music lessons, went to camp, went to the best schools. However, I thought we were poor. Honestly, I always thought we were on the verge of poverty. Why? Because my father, a child of the depression, instilled in my mother, my brother, and myself the belief that there was never enough money in our household. That was not true. It was his attitude and it became my attitude. The belief  that there would never be enough money started in my childhood.

Years later, I realized where my belief system originated and how it was sabotaging me in my business and worked vigorously to change my mindset (and continue to work on it every day). One great resource who helped me change my mindset about money is David Neagle and I have adopted his mantra that “making money is part of my spiritual path”. There are many resources available and I strongly suggest you find a coach or mentor to help you through this because negative feelings about money can literally hold you back from a successful business or career.

Money means a lot of different things to different people, but to me it represents freedom, the freedom from worrying about paying my bills and to live my life the way I choose to live. I realize now that I have much to offer and that my talent is a gift that I offer others to help them be successful.  Yes, money is the end result but because I understand my value and how I can help others, I no longer focus all my energy on the lack of money. Money is no longer a mental roadblock for me. I know that by helping professional women achieve their goals, feel self-confident and empowered by their unique value, I will be successful. Their success is my success.

 What are your feelings about money? Are they working for you?

When you look in the mirror, who is looking back at you? I’m not talking about your appearance. I’m talking about who you really are. Do you know?

Many of us are distracted by external factors that we let define us; our job, our looks. We allow these things to become our identity and the way we present ourselves to the world. Sometimes we hide behind them so we don’t have to really do the work to discover our essence.

But, to get outside results, you need to do the inside work. (I just wrote that down from a podcast I listened to yesterday by Suzanne Evans.) It’s so true!

Last week the New York Times published an interview with Charlotte Beers, former CEO and Chairwoman of Ogilvy and Mather Worldwide. In this article, The Best Scorecard Is The One You Keep For Yourself, Charlotte talks about the importance of doing a self-assessment and soliciting feedback from trusted colleagues to help you discover who you are. Sometimes painful, the feedback she received helped her become a better manager and leader.

Charlotte says, “it’s a mistake to just let the quality of our work speak for itself because sooner or later the quality of your relationships will prevail over the work.”

Charlotte talks about moments of crisis. “ When those moments come along and you need to draw on resources that are internal and your personal belief system, if you don’t know what they are, others will tell you what they are.”

Self-knowledge is so obvious-sounding that I hate to use it like that, but in fact you can be masterful at doing the work and you can be good in team relationships, but one day you will be called on to have difficult, complex relationships and a different part of you has to be used for that.

Do you know what your internal resources are? Can you see beyond your reflection in the mirror to connect with your core essence?

This is the stuff that makes you unique; your unique fingerprint. This is the stuff you call on to be successful and here’s the KEY: When you know this, you can not only draw from this resource to be successful, but you can let people know who you really are and what differentiates you from others who may hold the same position or sell similar products and services.

Charlotte’s new book is I’d Rather Be in Charge and I am thrilled that she will be on my new radio show June 13^th. You will be able to call in live with your questions for Charlotte! Stay tuned for more details.

If you are interested in taking this journey of self-discovery for yourself so that you can better position yourself for success, please sign up for my next four week  GPS Your Career Coaching Group  or come to the live full day workshop in Boston, May 5^th, GPS Your Way to Success Boot Camp.

It’s common knowledge that many people have issues with boastful people. We have a bias against those who seem “full of themselves” and constantly let everyone know how wonderful they are.  If the person happens to be a woman, there is even more of a negative reaction to her lack of humility.

If you follow my work and my blog, you know that I help professional women identify and connect with their value and talent and thereby gain the confidence to promote themselves. (This isn’t bragging or boasting, by the way, but authentically talking about your accomplishments and value proposition.) There is much evidence that communicating your value helps you to advance your career and get more clients.

If you understand your value proposition, what plan do you have to offer your gifts and talent to the world? I mean, what is your BIG plan for your business or career? Do you dare to go there?

 I believe that we think small because we are afraid that if we let others know the dreams we have for ourselves, people will think we are “full of ourselves”. We may get the skeptical looks, the rolling eyes, the “are you kidding me?” look. Who do you think you are that you could achieve that?

Well, guess what? If we think small, we stay small. If we keep our ordinary story, we stay ordinary. (I am borrowing that from Suzanne Evans. I just spent three amazing days at her Be The Change Event where I heard this over and over again.) If we want to be extraordinary, then we need to ditch our ordinary story for a bigger one, and we need to be able to articulate that new big story with the same confidence we do our value proposition.

Everything changes when you understand your value.  This includes your story and your plans for your career and business. Don’t be afraid to dream big. Don’t be ashamed to create a new big story that expands the way you offer your unique value to the world. It’s not bragging. It’s simply you acknowledging that you have these gifts. It’s simply you understanding your value and believing that you can achieve great success because of it.

What’s your extraordinary story?

Join me Thursday, April 26th for a FREE teleseminar on The 3 Insider Secrets to Marketing Yourself for Success in Business Today.

Learn everything you need to know to position yourself in business today in 3 simple steps!

You know how some people at the gym do the exact same workout every day? Have you noticed that these people never seem to make any progress with their fitness level? That’s because they are using the same muscle groups in the same way and these muscles become accustomed to the workout and after a while, they are no longer challenged.

Well, the same goes for our brains. If we continue to do the same thing day after day without challenging our brain, we won’t learn anything new or expand our skill set. In short, we will not reach our full potential in our personal or professional lives. What a waste!

 At first it may be painful and perhaps scary to try something new.  We are so comfortable knowing our current limitations that the idea of pushing ourselves forward is daunting. But just like the fitness metaphor, the benefit of cross-training our brains to learn new skills can only help us in the long run.

I wrote last week about Susan Bulkeley Butler, first female partner at Accenture. She chose to cross train her brain every three years by forcing herself to change positions within the company to expand her skill set and build her resume. The result was that she reached her goal of becoming a partner in the firm.

In our current work environment, there may not be a clear path to the top, but one sure way to move your career forward is to challenge yourself and seek opportunities to increase your skills and knowledge base.

What have you done lately to expand your skill set or stretch your comfort zone?

It’s pretty common to hear people talk about climbing the corporate ladder when they are talking about career advancement. It implies that every step we take is one that will move us closer to the top; to the executive or senior management level. This ladder metaphor, however, is becoming increasingly obsolete.

In a Harvard Business Review post from February 15^th, author Priscialla Claman states:

Career ladders died out during the late 1980s and early 1990s, when over 85% of Fortune 1000 American companies downsized their white-collar workforce.* Downsizing has only escalated from there, however in the 80s and 90s the lost jobs were not in manufacturing but white-collar jobs, including management jobs.

Claman reinforces the idea that the lack of a formal process toward promotion gives us the opportunity to have more control over our careers and think strategically about what our next step might be.

In their book, Through the Labyrinth, authors Alice Eagly and Linda Carli state,

Paths to the top exist, and some women find them. The successful routes can be difficult to discover, however, and therefore we label these circuitous paths a labyrinth.

I interviewed Susan Bulkeley Butler on my previous radio show, Head over Heels. Susan was the first female partner at Accenture. She told me that she knew early in her career that she wanted to be a partner in the firm, and every three years she would think strategically about what new skills she needed, where she would gain more visibility, and she would make a move to another position within the company. Sometimes these moves were lateral but always strategic with the end goal of partner in mind. Susan did reach her goal by building her social capital in the company and expanding her skill set beyond her comfort zone.

Often the next step for us is not up the ladder, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t reach the top by thinking strategically about our careers and managing our careers instead of our jobs. Look for opportunities to expand your skill set, build and leverage relationships inside and outside the company. Become politically savvy and understand the corporate power network, the decision makers and influencers. Work on improving your executive presence (communication skills and body language) so that you are visible as a competent and authentic leader.

Many doors are open to women who recognize the ladder is not the only way to advance their careers. Women who think strategically about their career path and learn how to navigate the labyrinth will be successful even though the corporate ladder is not readily available.

An amazing shift takes place when you connect with your unique value. It’s an incredible ah-ha moment!

When you truly understand your value, you present yourself with confidence; your body language changes; your communication changes; your relationships change and the way others perceive you changes dramatically.

For years, women have come to me for guidance on how to promote themselves. They struggle with feeling authentic and comfortable talking about their talent and accomplishments even though their resumes and experience tell a story of great success.

Why is this?

Because we struggle to fit in and be like everyone else in order to be liked. Now, as professionals, we are told that we need to differentiate ourselves and it doesn’t feel right. Somewhere along the line we get messages that we should be quiet about our talent. As a consequence, it becomes more difficult to make the connection back to what makes us truly unique.

We lose the vital connection with who we really are and our unique value proposition. We listen to everyone’s advice on who we should be, what we should do and how we should do it. This external focus distracts us from our own inner wisdom and our core essence.

What does it take to find ourselves again?

In her new book, Take the Lead, Betsy Myers says,

Leadership is a function first and foremost of self-knowledge and honest self-reflection.

How many of us take the time to figure this out?

How can we present ourselves to the world or promote ourselves authentically if we don’t do this self-reflection to find our unique value?

Understand that authentic comfortable self-promotion can’t be faked. It comes from a true understanding of who you are and what unique value you bring to the world.

Take the time to discover your value and this will be your foundation for career success and fulfillment.

I am offering you the opportunity to discover and connect with your unique value proposition so that you present yourself to your clients, your prospects, your colleagues, your friends with authenticity.

The GPS Your Career Group Coaching Program is a journey of self-discovery that will dramatically change your business and career by helping  you to position yourself successfully.

This four week course starts February 15^th, 8-9pm Eastern and includes four 60 minute coaching sessions, worksheets and stimulating exercises to help you do the deep dive and de-clutter to re-discover who you really are and what you have to offer your company or your clients.

No more struggles with self-promotion! No more struggles trying to get clients or be noticed at work!

The class is limited to 10 participants, so please register now.

For the past two weeks, the focus of this blog has been how you would handle a situation at work when someone takes credit for your idea. Unfortunately, this happens quite frequently according to many of my readers, and their responses demonstrated a  wide range of communication styles from passive to direct and assertive.

Communication experts agree the clearest, most productive and most effective way to communicate is honestly and openly, which is assertive communication. This type of communication allows for the potential for people to also communicate openly and honestly with you.

Assertive communication is defined as clear, direct, honest statement of feelings; use of “l” messages; speaking up appropriately for oneself while considering the needs, wants, and rights of others. 

It is important to note is that women who communicate in a direct and clear manner are viewed more favorably in the workplace!

There is a new study from Stanford Graduate School of Business http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/news/research/womencareerresearchbyoreilly.html  that shows in the business world, women who are aggressive, assertive, and confident but who can turn these traits on and off, depending on the social circumstances, get more promotions than either men or other women.

This is certainly encouraging, yet I find that learning to assert oneself appropriately in the workplace still remains an issue for many women. One of the most effective ways to communicate confidence is to use assertive communication and many women find this challenging. Part of the problem is the lack of confidence to use “I” statements in assertive communication, (that goes against some of the lessons we have learned about always putting others first).

Here are some tips and guidelines to build your assertive communication skills.

1. Visualize the person you want to be. How would that person behave and communicate? Do you currently exhibit this behavior and what do you have to change?
2. Ask for feedback from trusted colleagues about the way you are coming across. This would be a great discussion with a mentor as well.
3. Practice using “I” statements. Stay true to your feelings without blaming others.
4. State your opinions clearly.
5. Accept compliments with grace. Say “thank you”. It’s simple but somehow we always find the need to give credit to others or discredit the compliment. Give example of someone saying you did a good job and you say the team did it. Well, what was your part in the team effort? What was your contribution? Acknowledge. Don’t downplay the compliment. Take credit.
6. Practice giving your opinion at least once during every meeting.
7. Make it a goal to speak during every meeting.
8. Practice saying “no!” especially when people (your boss or direct reports) delegate inappropriately to you. Don’t fall into the trap of taking on the work when it’s not appropriate.
9. Ask for what you need. No one knows everything and the best leaders are those that acknowledge this. Not asking for what you need may sabotage your efforts in the long run.
10. Practice expressing your opinion clearly and confronting issues head-on using “I” statements. Avoid the inclination to backpedal and negate your true feelings.
11. Build your self-confidence and stay focused on your value. This gives you the courage to communicate effectively. Make sure you are balancing your communication style so that it is not aggressive or passive aggressive.
12. Focus on unhooking emotionally from situations with difficult bosses and colleagues. Instead focus on your reaction. You can’t control their behavior. You can only control your reaction.
13. Do your homework. When you are negotiating for a raise or asking for a promotion, have all the history and facts about your specific accomplishments and how they have impacted the business. Use benefit language that includes specific outcome and results rather than your effort involved.

My advice is to start practicing assertive communication in a non-threatening situation such as with a customer service representative, waiter or bank teller. When you are faced with a situation in which you feel compromised or disappointed, use “I” statements to clearly express your opinion and build your comfort level with assertive communication over time.